Dedication for My Female Besties

As you know, I’m an avid reader. Right now I’m in a satirical book called Science…..For Her. The book starts with a dedication to about ten pages of her gal pals so I see no reason why I shouldn’t do the same with my friends (and sometimes “friends” if you know what I mean). Note: I have many guy friends and one or two nonbinary friends but on this list I only put those who identify as female.

To Julianna (a girl with orange hair who stole my boyfriend freshmen year of high school), the twins (no, I’’m not referring to my boobs. I was good friends with a set of twins in high school until Orange Hair Demon Spawn stole them too), Renata (a beautiful scholar driven mad by perfection and the unrelenting standards our high school placed on us) Lexi (she hosted the first Halloween sleepover and now I know what it’s like to see someone cut off their ankle…..that happened in the movie, not the sleepover. Points if you can guess which movie) Ally (Macedonian royalty who ended up studying abroad in college and flirting with my two college friends who were on a Zoom call with us) Selena (told people I talked about “sucking dick all the time” Trust me there are way more interesting topics of conversation) Isabella (her parents didn’t really like me. Innocent me! Meanwhile she’s out doing Molly at parties) Molly (Isabella’s drug of choice) Emily (the best person ever. Moon Squad affiliate, personal advisor, professional bodyguard and overall best friend. Loyal beyond belief and part time therapist. She charged great rates). Linda (friend of Emily who dropped into a lake and ice didn’t work. Does it ever?) Karen (a girl was was insisting her breasts were the same size as mine which looked physically impossible) Stacey (the biggest backstabber I ever encountered who championed the “I hate Leigh Winters Club”) M (she was always getting urinary tract infections and thinking she was pregnant), Victoria (I dated her ex. Sorry!) Kathleen (liked dancing. Like kissing girls) Alicia (like a fairy with an ass) Wendels (my proud big sister who takes me thrifting and to the spa) Catherine (she’s in the  National Guard and she just got married) Christina (she introduced to the Nintendo Switch. Do I ever play it? No) Nicki (an optimistic friend who works diligently, journals regularly, has a good feeling about the future and is always tragically busy) Luna (a poetic goddess with a killer style sense) Another Christina (introduced me to White Russians back before I was sober) Glory (voice of an angel, works in organ donation)