Not in the Cards

I’m not having kids. I’ve spoken on this subject before but allow me to go a little more in depth. I’m not having kids because I feel I’d be an unfit mother. Motherhood is not something I’m willing to take a gamble on. Historically, mentally ill people were sterilized against their will. I am not about to undergo sterilization but I know I will never have children…and that breaks my heart. It’s undoubtedly the right thing though. A) Who knows what pregnancy hormones will do to my body? B) Can I even be on all my psychiatric meds and be pregnant? “But Leigh,” you may holler “what about adoption?” I don’t think I’d be the most stable person to be raising a child. I’m not a danger to children and I relish the thought of being a cousin or an aunt but motherhood just isn’t in the cards and I have to accept it. Thoughts? Experiences?