5 Steps to Being MORE Passive Aggressive in Your Arguments

Passive aggressiveness gets a really bad rep. Personally, I have found it very effective. Use all five of these steps and I’ll guarantee you’ll win. He/she/they will be sleeping on the couch.

1. Go quiet. Not a peep. If you are asked a question just shrug and look like you are too bored to be bothered. Occupy your attention elsewhere. Stare at a plant or something else that does not move. Remain perfectly responsive to everybody else.

2. If you must talk insist you are not mad/ jealous/ upset. Say this curtly and like you are annoyed your partner even asked you. Shouldn’t they know better?

3. If your partner won’t stop asking whats wrong give them a completely off the wall answer. Your shoes are too tight. That other’s womans dress looks familiar to  yours. You’re getting a headache.

4. Your partner will try to remedy this false problem. Let them try. It’s amusing and may soothe your animosity as they offer you new shoes, new dress and tylenol. 

5. Explode with the truth. Of course it’s not the stupid shoes! It’s the fact that he smoked two cigarettes/ stared at that woman’s ass/ didn’t compliment your homemade chocolate chip cookies. It comes out with so much anger that you know sound borderline unhinged. There isn’t anything passive about this; this is pure aggression. Your partner understands this happens once in a while and tries to solve the problem part 2. Just kidding. Passive aggressiveness never solved anything when used long term. Take this as what not to do.