8 Signs You Are Recovering

We might think we know when we are recovering but actually it isn’t always obvious. Sometimes we are too close to the situation to see it clearly and don’t realize when the clouds are lifting. Here are just some of the ways you can tell that you are getting better:

1. You don’t mind showering. One thing I used to be embarrassed about but now realize it is quite common for those with bipolar disorder is my aversion to showers. It started when I was a sophomore in college. I started sleeping all the time and showering just felt so hard. We are talking insurmountable proportions. I never got to the point that I smelled (I think) but I felt grimy and ashamed. Even after I was hospitalized I strongly disliked showering. Until I started feeling better mentally. For those of you who are still having trouble showering try easing into it by taking baths. Remember dry shampoo is a thing. And no, you are not alone.

   
   

2. You stop isolating. It is common to want to be alone when you feel like crap. First of all, you don’t want to scare away your family and friends with your pain. You might not want to “burden” them. It’s too hard to fake a smile, it’s just easier to stay in your onesie and huddle under the covers. But suddenly you find yourself wanting to make plans. A party does not seem so scary. Introduce yourself to the social scene gradually. Don’t overwhelm yourself. Just know there are people waiting patiently for you to get better so they can see you again.

   
   

3. You have a solid sleep schedule. Sleep is important. Especially when you have some conditions like bipolar disorder. If you deprive yourself of sleep you can become manic. And if you become manic, you also can’t sleep. Or if you have depression or a depressive episode you might sleep too much, taking four hour naps in the middle of the day, literally (and this is scary) sleeping away your life because you just don’t care anymore. Once you find yourself going to bed at a reasonable hour and waking up at one, this is a sign you are mentally in a better place. 

   
   

4. Be honest with yourself and your care team. When you are sick it is very important to be honest with yourself because only you can truly attest to your experiences. When you start hearing voices or having overwhelming sexual urges (aka hypersexuality) even though it can be scary or embarrassing, burying your thoughts is dangerous. I was having a serious manic episode during my junior year of college and I lied to my doctor, psychiatrist and most of my friends. Oh and my parents. Then one day I tried to commit suicide. Everyone was stunned. No one knew I was that far gone. Had I been honest we could have avoided all that. Now if I ever have a whisper of psychosis or mania, I’m on the phone with my psychiatrist right away. 

   
   

5. You are medication compliant. Some people are not medication compliant and that is too bad for them because that usually ends up with them back in the hospital. Usually it is the stigma that causes them to do this or they feel they no longer need them. Medication compliance means you take your meds per your psychiatrist’s instructions; you follow your prescription. When you are comfortable with taking medication, it is a big step in the right direction. 

   
   

6. You care about the world. Often when we are ill we are all wrapped up in our own pain and our own world. We don’t usually give much thought to the world around us unless they affect us directly. When we start getting better it’s like our glasses got adjusted and we could see the world around us. We are less self-involved. We are also better able to give to friends and those around us. 

   
   

7. You find things to look forward to. When you wake up in the morning what is the first thing you think? Do you groan at the thought of surviving another day? Or do you have pleasant activities dotting your day? This isn’t to say you can’t have a bad day once in a while. Obviously if it’s someone’s funeral or a trauma just happened, there will be some bad days in the near future (“bad” is an understatement). But it’s great when you look at your day, week and month do you see events that excite you, soothe you? Do you have things to look forward to? 

   
   

8. You know how to self-soothe. I am in recovery but I do have difficult times, particularly in the evening. I usually take a bath or a shower, hunker down with my blankie or try to make last minute plans to get out of the house. Everyone is different and if you can identify what works for you more power to you. These are weapons you can weld if things get tough. Things to distract, comfort or engage. It is also a good idea to note your feelings in a journal so you can keep track of patterns.

Here are some ways you can tell how well you’re doing. I believe in you.