Advice from "Get it Done" by Sam Bennett Part One

I had a long day thrift shopping (I found a cute dress I’m gonna wear to my boyfriend’s office party, studded boots which I will wear on Halloween and a Winnie-the-Pooh ornament) and now I’m ready to kick back and immerse myself in Sam Bennett.

• “Your dreams are always a part of you, whether you fulfill them or not. Just like your fantasies and memories, they cannot be taken away from you. You cannot abandon your dreams because your dreams  never abandon you”

Growing up I had three very pronounced dreams. 1) Find work as a therapist or a social worker especially one for kids. 2) Meet the man of my dreams and have a fairy tale wedding and honeymoon. 3) Have a large family that keeps me bustling and busy. Now the only dream that will be a reality is dream #2. It was hard to give up on a career but if you can’t even work a cash register how can you help suicidal teens? What use was I to them? Similarly if I cant take care off myself how can I raise a family. I will never truly abandon these dreams but I know that’s all they are: dreams.

• “Does this project really matter?”

My big project that I have been working on for about nine years now is my memoir Story of Hope. It starts during my freshmen year of college and chronicles my struggles, mainly at school but also after I drop out. It is impossible to articulate how important this project is to me. I never thought such a serious mental illness could hit me and every year hundreds of college students fall victim to all kinds of mental illness. Hope deals with OCD, alcoholism, panic attacks, bipolar disorder and PTSD among the regular trials of college like Geometry, Tinder and bad roommates. A relatable and vulnerable protagonist, any student can appreciate.

• “Do some simple, repetitive motion for fifteen minutes a day, every day. But this is not to get fit or lose weight or to lower your blood pressure- it’s to enhance your creativity and turn up the volume on the intuition”

When I do cardio I like to listen to music rather than a book on tape or a podcast because it allows my creativity to talk louder. One of the fiction books I’m dabbling with is called Diary of Dakota. I was going through an outline when I realized the book would be much better as a diary (obviously I titled it after I got that idea)>

• “If your energy or range of motion is impaired, you can knit, toss cards into a hat, chop vegetables, fold laundry, sort papers or even go for a drive”

I knit. Sometimes I get such exciting ideas I have to put my knitting down and jot down my ideas. Then I often lose my place (though that has been happening less often the more practiced I get)

• “Your fear does not get to make decisions for you”

What is your biggest fear? One of mine is to leave this world without having something to show for it. I want that to be a book now that it can’t be a child. I also want an entire stadium of people who have felt my love. I know I have touched so many people already and they have touched me. No, my fear does not make decisions for me. I will be remembered- for my talent and my kindness.

• “Perfectionism would be so great…..if only it worked”

When I first started fifth grade, I started really suffering from OCD. Everything had to be perfect. My homework had to be immaculate even if it wasn’t being graded. I would spend an extra two hours on my homework- at least. My friends wondered why I didn’t have any time to play and why I agonized over every answer. It was okay, as long as I was doing well. But one time I had a graphing project for social studies. Maybe I didn’t put as much work into my project as I should have but when I got the assignment back I had received a 75. This was unthinkable to me. I had gotten a C? I began to cry (predictably). I was humiliated and terrified. My GPA would never recover. I would never recover! My very empathetic teacher held me after class and she told me that a C was actually an average grade and with my test scores, my grade would hardly be affected. And I just remember a wave of relief that I didn’t have to be perfect for once. 

• “But goodism knows when to stop. Unlike perfectionism goodism just wants things as good as they can be”

This is what I subscribe to now. You might notice my blog sometimes has some typos. Although I wouldn’t send a query letter out like that,  I am very relaxed here. This is my space.  And it is good. But not perfect. And that’s okay.

• “Self-doubt is a killer. It causes paralysis, night terrors, regret, and shame”

Things I Feel Self-Doubt About: my appearance, my poetry  and my ability to do math. Things I Am Perfectly Confident About: my writing (except my poetry), my piano, and my craft making ability.

• Keep A List of Compliments

I wish I had started doing this a long time ago. Some unconventional  things people have complimented on is my eyelashes (I’m told they’re long), my ability to make babies smile, my doodling, my acting, my witty comebacks, my empathy and my ability to acknowledge a compliment.

• “We don’t use the word starving about any other job that’s unlikely to produce high income. We don’t say starving minister or starving busboy or starving gas station employee”

I do however acknowledge that without my parental support, if I continued to pursue this career choice (as a writer), I would probably be starving. Or at least destitute and forced to get a ‘real” job. Maybe one as a busboy?

• “Knowing exactly what you need  allows you to find exactly what you need. Staying vague is staying stuck”

If you are to embark on a project, especially a project that requires a lot of supplies or different stores, my advice is to make a materials list as detailed as I can. I’m talking brand, color, even the price range  you’re willing to spend. You’ll save a lot of time and money. I have gone into Michaels armed with a list and armed with a basket and haven’t even spent much money.

• “There are 168 hours in a week” “So, darling, quite beating yourself up for all the work you’re not doing. Finding the time for it is no joke”

I don’t have a job (or school) but I do have many WIPs (works in progress) as well as a bunch of hobbies. Plus I have a very active social life and a boyfriend and family obligation. And I spend at least an hour at the gym every day.  I’m sure you have your activities too. Which brings me to my next point

• “Seeing your weekly schedule as a quilt will help you visualize what you are spending your time on and where you might want to make some changes”

This means you can construct what Sam Bennett calls a Time Quilt. Every part of your life gets a color (job, exercise, boyfriend, etc) and you can look at a glance at what parts of your life get the most attention and most focus.

Oh update: my purple lipstick arrived.