Blue Chakra: Life At a Glance

Intellectual: 85%

“For someone going through what you are, you are very self- aware” said a psychiatrist when I was being evaluated for a hospital (I was admitted and stayed a week). “You’re too smart for your own good” said a guy after we finished having sex. “I don’t believe you are half as ditzy as you pretend to be” said another guy. I will admit in the past dumbing myself down for guys (although in the days I smoked pot I just got dumb on my own). I don’t do that anymore. Guys underestimate me because I have big boobs but that’s their mistake. Even though I’m done with school, I love learning. I love reading books of essays and classics. I’m teaching myself sign language. I play piano (and I usually have to transpose the music to my key). I’m learning to knit (fingerless gloves which are nearly impossible). I like doing brainteasers, logic puzzles and occasionally helping my mom out with her crossword (if you think I’m smart wait till you meet her). 

Financial: 4%

I am broke to the point I found four dollar bills in my laptop case and now I feel like I can feed my family for a month. My friend was having a birthday and she wanted to celebrate with a broadway show. Broadway tickets weren’t really in the budget but I made it work. And before that was vacation. And before that I splurged for a really expensive dinner for Justin’s birthday (probably worth more than the Broadway show actually). Anyway its back to saving my pennies. Since I have every craft item in existence this shouldn’t be a problem.

Emotional: 73%

I am always a little precarious when it comes to my emotional side especially (Like now) when I’m on my period. Like we can smile but we must be cautious about it. Little things can lift me up but similarly they can dreg me down so easily. The word “shower” can inspire different reactions depending on what time of day you say it to me. So can “gym” and “bed”. There’s alot in my mind right now. 

Spiritual: 60%

Because I am often at my boyfriends on Sunday I don’t go to Church. I don’t see this as a big deal because I do my worship outside of church. I write letters to God. I pray to him. My faith in God is unwavering even in the face of tragedy. When my aunt died, I turned to him for comfort. I have prayed to him from the inside of hospitals. He has kept me safe from a world that is not always fair and from myself. I can be my own worst enemy and he knows this. I would make an effort to attend mass regularly to please my dad. I know he thinks I’m not doing my faith justice.

Romantic: 99%

Not to flaunt it but I have a great relationship. For over three years I have been with an amazing, forgiving, kind, generous, funny, fun guy. He’s the best thing that happened to me. He showed me what real love is, not the cheap imitation I have been treated to. He has never hurt me- emotionally, sexually, physically. This may seem a low bar but in the past with other guys it wasn’t always like that. He has never manipulated me. He has only cared for me. We had a rough patch or two but we always got over it because we were meant to be together. This is one area in my life I am satisfied in.

Health/ Well Being: 50%

I am working on being more healthy. I need to lose weight. I know that. I go to the gym everyday and have dates with the treadmill and the stationary bike. I push myself till beads of sweat tickle my nose and I have jelly legs when I get up in the middle of the night. I have tried to stop the binge eating simply by not eating when I’m not hungry. Like at the poetry slam this weekend there were two types of cake there and everyone was handing out pieces. But I didn’t have any. We did the Irish goodbye and went home (albeit to homemade pizza but still better than cake). 

Social: 99%

This is not a platform for me to brag how popular I am. But yeah I’m good in the friend department. Though I’m always down to meet new people.

Societal: 25%

I have very strong convictions (for instance happy pride. I am a strong believer in gay rights) but I don’t usually share them with people. One day I’ll publish them in a big book. Under an assumed name. I don’t why I’m so shy about sharing my opinions. They are just as valid as anyone else’s. I have told Justin and we engage in conversation about the areas we disagree in. We are able to joke about it. I just wish I was braver. I wish I could do something.

And that’s my life at a glance. What’s yours?