Boundaries

One thing I’ve always had trouble with is setting boundaries. Boundaries are essential for all of us. We have physical boundaries, emotional boundaries and sexual boundaries to name a few. If you are looking for more advice on boundary setting I’d recommend a book like Unf*** Your Boundaries which is very direct and easy to read. You should also become comfortable setting boundaries for yourself which for me is hardest of all. Turns out  I can be kind of pushy.

Things You Should Set Boundaries Are:

1. A firm bedtime. It is healthier (especially for a person with bipolar disorder) to have a consistent bedtime. It doesn’t have to be early (8 clock) but staying up till three playing first person shooter games isn’t healthy either. Find a healthy middle ground that aligns with the time you wake up (which should also be consistent). I would say 11 would be fair.

   
   

2. How much (and what) you are going to drink. The drink I find that most people set boundaries with is tequila. So the next time you go out with the girls (or bros) set a limit on how much you are going to drink. Remember beer before liquor never been sicker. Liquor before beer you’re in the clear (Disclaimer: I don’t actually know if this is true). Otherwise you’re going to be throwing up jello shots in some sketchy club bathroom. Or just on yourself. And yes this happened to me.

   
   

3. How far you are going to go sexually. When there is chemistry, things can get out of hand fast, sometimes too fast to think of protection (and I include emotional wellbeing). So if a guy or girl invites you back to his place and you think something might go down tell yourself right then and there “We aren’t going to have sex” or “We are only going to kiss” Or “Nothing below the belt” And hold yourself to it

   
   

4. How much money to spend. Shopping sprees get dangerously out of hand especially in malls with “sale” signs in the windows and shoes on display. If I plan an afternoon of shopping (made safer by going with my boyfriend, made more dangerous by going with a female friend) I should also plan a budget. Better yet don’t bring more cash than the budget allows (well pack a little extra money for emergencies) 

   
   

5. How much you are going to work. I have been called a workaholic. I have been found guilty as charged. My strategy now is to have a relaxing morning and evening and work all day in between at different types of tasks, mostly writing but also crafting. My weekends I save for my boyfriend and thats another type of boundary: to set time aside for the people you love.