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Creature Commandos- Why Every Episode of This Series Made Me Cry (Spoilers)


I hadn’t really existed in the superhero world until my boyfriend introduced me to it, slowly seducing me with Batman movies and Watchmen (which might be my favorite superhero movie of all time). Then we graduated to X-Men and Peacemaker. Recently, he showed me Creature Commandos written by James Gunn, CEO of DC Studios. It was a 7 episode series about a group of incarcerated monsters who are enlisted by Amanda Waller (the same Amanda Waller of The Suicide Squad) to handle delicate military operations for the United States. The team is run by Rick Flag Sr. who lost his son in The Suicide Squad. He is supposed to lead the team but kind of is led by his penis instead.


The monsters consist of Weasel (who was also in The Suicide Squad and incidentally cannot swim), The Bride (of Frankenstein), the Tin Man, Doctor Phosphorus, and Nina (aka the girl with her head as a fishbowl). Each episode focuses on moving the plot forward (protect the Princess, then kill the Princess) but also gives the backstory of each monster, each more painful than the next. 


The Bride (who is an absolute bitch and loves hurting people) hates the Frankenstein Monster. She was involved romantically with Dr. Frankenstein (probably because he created her) and the Frankenstein Monster killed him out of jealousy, breaking The Bride’s heart and hardening her forever.


The Tin Man was created during World War 2 to fight Nazis. He is good at it. But that’s all he is good at it. That’s all he knows how to do. When he is befriended by Nina he frequently asks her if she would like to kill Nazis. That was a bonding activity for him. He doesn’t make it through the series alive,


The Weasel was playing with some schoolchildren when some children playing with matches start a fire. The Weasel makes an effort to save a little girl but authorities see him as a threat and yank him out of the fire before he can get to the girl who perishes in the fire. It is such a painful scene to watch. Seeing burning logs collapse onto a little girl and knowing she won’t make it and Weasel will spend the rest of his life in jail.


Dr. Phosphorus was working with radioactive material for a crime boss. He pissed off the crime boss so the boss not only slaughtered his wife and child he wiped Dr. Phosphorus’s hands in their blood. Then he locked Dr. Phosophorus in a radioactive oven. I think he was counting on the radioactivity to fry him or something but Dr. Phosphorus emerges as a radioactive entity which means he can burn anything he touches. First thing he does is goes after the family of the crime boss which includes two children.


Nina is the kindest of the Monsters. She is a Monster in appearance only (she is part aquatic creature. She has gills which means she breathes underwear and has webbed fingers and toes). Her mother abandoned her as a child and she left her father’s house believing to be a burden. In reality, her father loves  her more than anything. He is shot when they are hauling Nina out of the sewers where she was living. It was the last time I cried. 


There’s a Season 2 in the works. Although I applaud the pithy dialogue and well developed characters I hope it is a little easier on the heartstrings. But I have to say: Thank you Justin for getting me into superheroes. 

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