Favorite Gretchen Rubinisms and What's Been Going On With Me

This week I thought I would dedicate to my favorite self-help author, Gretchen Rubin. From the time I read the Happiness Project at fourteen, I was hooked. This week I want to explore her wisdom. But first, what’s been going on with me. 

It isn’t unusual for me to get manic in the summer. The last time I got hospitalized was the Fourth of July 2023. My manic moods are known as bursts of upbeat energy where I am throwing all my focus and concentration on about ten projects at the same time. Sometimes I get very irritable. Sometimes I get hypersexual. Sometimes I spend a lot of money on shit I don’t need. If it gets bad enough I can get paranoid and delusional.  My parents and Justin know this and they are on alert. I’ve been manic for over a month now sometimes dipping down into depressive episodes into the afternoon. I’ve been antisocial, overly anxious and sometimes downright terrified (of what? Not sure). I’m a prisoner in my own mind right now but I don’t know what else we can do except deal with it while we work out the medication situation. I’m on the most medication I’ve ever been on and I’m exhausted. I’d say right now I’m more zombie than person even with the upbeat bursts.

Anyway, here are some Gretchenisms that she has sprinkled in her books that we could all use:

1. Outer order contributes to inner calm. 

I do believe this even if I don’t always adhere to it. Take my desk now for example. It is a mess of snips, dried up glue sticks, marker sticks, scissors, multiple birthday presents I’m working on, multiple Christmas presents I’m working on, letters I need to mail and books I’m in the middle of. Usually my parents I keep it decent but they let it go because I’m manic.

2. Home is a physical space; it is also a frame of mind.

I live in the house I grew up and I have never had to move. My home has always felt like  home. We added a new addition a few years back and I can’t picture the house without the spacious kitchen and wide windows. I’ve had other homes. My youth group felt like home in high school from the gallons of Mountain Dew to the Xbox to the hardcover bibles. But the biggest home away from home was my college and the family I stayed with after I was released from the hospital. Those were very difficult times in my life but I wouldn’t trade my experiences there for everything because there were a million bright spots shining like stars do in darkness.

3. The fun part doesn’t come later; now is the fun part

When you’re in the car stuck in traffic on the way to the Vrbo, that’s the fun part. When you’re waiting in line for the biggest roller coaster, thats the fun part. When you’re searching for a restaurant and everybody’s getting hungry, that’s the fun part. If you always think the fun part is coming, youre going to miss it (and I’m aware that none of that stuff is really fun. I’m just saying don’t  be so focused on the future that you miss the now. Try to make the best of what you got even if you are bored, tired or hungry).

4. If you’re too tired to do anything except watch TV or cruise the internet, go to sleep

After dinner, I power down the computer. If I listen to anything on my phone, it’s music or an audiobook. I do cheat sometimes by watching TV before bed if I’m with  Justin but even then it’s usually just an episode of Peacemaker (which by the way is an awesome show and has an awesome playlist).

5. To recall or anticipate a pleasure is to experience it twice. 

Don’t let pleasurable experiences sneak up on you.  Mull them over in your mind. Envision them happening in different ways (all pleasant). After it ends try to savor the memory as much as possible. Print out photos and display them prominently. Write about it in your journal (this is how I remember so many of the details of the things that happen to me). Tell those around you about the experience. Who knows? Maybe they’ll want to experience a similar one with you?

6. Burn energy to create energy

The best explanation I can think of for this one is feeling exhausted but getting your muscles going by taking a brisk walk or hitting the gym. This morning the first thought I had was “I don’t think I am getting out of my bed” but after burning energy writing in my journal for an hour, I felt energized enough to hit the piano and transpose some Chappell Roan songs. And then the gym.

7. Most decisions don’t require extensive research.

I guess my biggest decision was where I was going to go to college and that barely required any research at all. I looked at the statistics, visited, applied and was accepted (with a scholarship). I might have done early action or early decision because I remember finding out in December. I could tour a thousand campuses (I only saw like three others and only applied to one) but I knew Scranton was the place for me. And I was right. If I hadn’t been mentally ill I would have graduated five years later in the Master’s program. But nobody could have seen the the future.

8. It is easier to prevent pain than squelch it.

I have learned this lesson the hard way. Several times growing up I got involved with guys even though I knew it wouldn’t ended well. But instead of turning them down and ending  it there (preventing pain) I sometimes would date or fool around with guys because for some reason I felt obligated or had a hard time saying no. Eventually I’d break things off or they would and then everybody’s feelings would get hurt,

9. Doing a little work makes goofing off more fun

I was probably the only girl at Scranton who did homework on Friday. Not Friday night. Oh God no. That was reserved for parties. But when I was dismissed from classes Friday I got a large chunk of homework done, knowing I might be hungover the next day or that I might want to go play Frisbee or do something non-school related. Procrastination has never been a problem for me.

10. Lose yourself to find yourself

When we lose ourselves in our talents or hobbies we sometimes see ourselves more clearly. I lose myself playing piano, crafting, knitting and (of course) writing. I’ve been depending on these talents lately. It’s all part of the healing process.