How Routine and Spontaneity Make Us Happy

There are many self-help books that herald the importance of routine. There are also many self-help books that applaud spontaneity. Today I’ll talk with you about both so you can incorporate both in your life and experience maximum happiness. 

Routine. A routine is something you repeat for a specific period of time. There are daily routines, weekly routines, monthly routines. As happiness expert and my personal hero Gretchen Rubin would say “What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while” Let’s look at some daily routines.

Morning Routine. Everyone has a morning routine aka steps that they go through upon waking up. For some, it means a shower. Some take a brisk walk. My aunt goes to church every day as part of her morning routine. Here are some ways you can improve your morning:

•  a pleasant beverage of her choice. Many people prefer to wake themselves up with coffee. My dad drinks it black and every time I smell it it makes me want to vomit. I prefer hazelnut which I make as soon as the coffee pot is empty. Some people drink tea. Some don’t want to be caffeinated at all (it makes them jittery).

• spend time outside. This is obviously weather permitting and season permitting. Around spring time my dad and I will spend mornings outside. We sit on the deck so we can see birds landing in the bath and appreciate the usually docile sounds of a neighborhood waking up. Sometimes we need flannels or sweatshirts but we usually spend our mornings outside until the beginning of October. It wakes you up and alerts you to all the vibrant senses around you.

• A short journal session. It doesn’t have to be short. God knows mine isn’t. But even if journaling isn’t for you its good to write down your intentions for the day. Then you can stay on track and not get distracted or bogged down by small details. Plus having your intentions in print will make you feel more accomplishment when you eventually achieve them. Of course there is almost no limitation what you can do with a journal. You could log your dreams. Practice affirmations. There are untold journaling exercises. Or you could just document your feelings.

• Eat breakfast. Some people don’t eat breakfast. Some people aren’t hungry. I don’t eat breakfast until two hours after I get up (I like to do piano first). But some never get hungry which baffles me. If that’s you, I’m not going to stop you. But just know skipping breakfast (one of the three meals) isn’t going to help you lose weight (thank God. I love breakfast too much to give it up).

Workout Routine: this will be brief because I am in no way a trainer and I barely know what I’m talking about. Here are just some of my personal tips to help with your workout:

• If you are new to the gym splurge on at least one personal trainer session so you know what all  the machines do and what some basic exercises are to help you achieve workout goals

• Rotate between several cardio machines. I do bike one day, then treadmill the next and then elliptical. 

• Protein shakes may seem safe but beware. They are worth their weight in calories.

Evening Routine: Everyone has things they do in the evening to prepare for bed. Here are a few:   - Read or listen to an audiobook. Even the most avid reader sometimes only has time to read at night. Listening to an audiobook with your eyes closed and the lights off is risky because you might fall asleep and lose your place so maybe don’t do it with a book you aren’t familiar with.

• Take a bath. Sometimes when I have anxiety attacks at night I will take a bath with a bath bomb. I turn the lights off except a candle and lean back in the warm water. I can’t exactly fit in the bathtub but I try to get as much of me under water as I can like the water is a heated blanket.

• Journal. The obvious thing to do is write about your day but you are only as limited as your imagination. And remember, journal entries can be brief. It’s actually very popular to write just one sentence. One sentence a day.

• Cuddle with someone. Being physically intimate with someone (or even just curling up with a pet) can be very relaxing. When I’m home my mom scratches my back in bed while I lie in bed. Sometimes I actually fall asleep while she does that. When me and Justin spend the night I either rest my head on his chest which is one of the safest places I  know. When I actually want to go to sleep I flip over to the other direction and Justin spoons me from behind until  I doze  off. 

These routines we’ve incorporated are great for our physical and mental wellbeing. But when we add a dash of spontaneity we can increase it even more. Here are some spontaneous things you can do to add happiness to you and those around you:

• Buy a gift for someone you love for no damn reason. Or a service. Like a day at the spa to an overworked mother.

• Go out for dinner just because

• Get a completely different color than usual for a pedicure

• Cut your hair in a different style

• Wear a dress instead of pants

• Sing a song at karaoke night when you usually hand the mic off to someone else

• Attend a different kind of community night like stand up comedy or a poetry slam

• Pick a genre at the library that you don’t usually read

• Buy flowers

• Sign yourself up for lessons (could be pottery or singing or piano)

Things I Feel I Should Put Down As Things You Should Never Do Spontaneously (especially as someone who is bipolar and can be very spontaneous, impulsive and even a little dangerous when she is manic)

- Decide to get pregnant

• Decide to get married 

• Quit a job 

• End a long term relationship (especially after a fight about something stupid)

• Buy a house

• Get a tattoo (some might disagree and say I’m being old fashioned. Maybe I’m old fashioned. My advice? Get a henna for now and think about it a little while)

These are all some of the ways routine and spontaneity can serve to make us happier and

healthier in our every day life…and now and then.