How to Not Be That Overly Attached Girlfriend

I’m embarrassed to admit I’ve played this role with enough boyfriends to know it doesn’t work out well. You wouldn’t like it if someone tracked your every movement, texted you every minute, called you incessantly.  They aren’t thrilled with it either. So here are some ways you can pull back a little and save the relationship before you drive him crazy.

1. Adopt a new  hobby. It doesn’t really matter what it is as long as it gets your body and mind away from your boyfriend. Choose one or two from the list below:

2. Knitting

3. Crocheting (No they are not the same thing)

4. A musical instrument

5. A foreign language

6. A new interest (ex. U.S. presidents, geography, serial killers)

7. Cooking, baking

8. Pottery

2. Set a goal. It’s healthy for you. 

• Read ten books this month (this may look easy but it’s actually not. Especially if you choose Anna Kareninana) 

• Hit the gym four days a week

• Volunteer your time at a hospital or a nursing home

• Take an online free lecture from Harvard or another prestigious university

• Make a budget and take yourself on vacation at the end of six months. A solo vacation. A treat

3. Throw a girl’s night

• Get all the fixings. Nail polish, face masks, snacks

• Stream the classics: Legally Blonde, Mean Girls, the Parent Trap. Last time I was at a girls night we watched the Spy that Dumped Me.

• Don’t check your phone. Unless it’s absolutely necessary leave it upstairs on silent. You are allowed to have nights when no one needs to reach you. 

4.  Ask yourself why you feel the need to keep tabs on him.

• Do you trust him? If you don’t trust him is it because of something he did? Or is because an ex betrayed you and now you have trust issues?

• Are you worried about him? Does he engage in unsafe activities (gambling/ drugs/ driving while drinking)?

• Do you think if you don’t keep reminding himself of you then he will forget about you (he will. But your texts won’t help, they’ll just annoy him)?

5. If you feel like you are going to break resolve and text/call him write what you would say in a private journal. After doing this several times you can usually identify a pattern. 

6. I’m not saying never text your boyfriend. I have a boyfriend and we text pretty frequently including good morning texts. We fall asleep texting each other. We’ve also been together for three years and neither of us freaks out when the other doesn’t reply (well, mostly). But I am saying texting is a tool of communication, not stalking. This works the other way around. In fact it can be a lot scarier the other way around. If a guy was to text me nonstop, I’d end things right away. Before it could go further. Guys don’t have to worry about this as much but yes there are unhinged girlfriends out there too. So please read the signs. And be careful as to how you come across to the one you say you love.