Live Your Dreams

I had a lot of dreams when I went away to college. I wanted to fall into a loving relationship. I wanted to make forever friends- as many as possible. I wanted to ace all my classes. I want to do sports which I didn’t really do at home. I wanted to fit as many extracurricular activities into my schedule as possible. I wanted to party on the weekends. I wanted to graduate. Well I did all of them except I didn’t graduate. Graduation being the big goal. I mean that is kind of why people go to school. Not to play intramurals or drink. Not even to learn. But to get that damn diploma which I never did.

I spent the next few years trying to make up for lost dreams- I worked at AC Moore, Charlotte Russe and my local library. None of those places held dreams for me. I had wanted to help people. Namely the mentally ill. How is selling clothes and colored pencils supposed to help them? Now that I’m 28 I have a better handle on my dreams: 1) to help others 2) to be the best writer I can be. I have just completed my online training to be a peer specialist. Soon I can start shadowing and then working on my own. Best of all, I’ll be earning a salary which I haven’t since I quit my job at the library. I’m also about to volunteer my time at the local hospital, being a companion and reading to the elderly. 

I want to say never give up your dreams. Unfortunately, dreams like “having a family” just aren’t for me. I have a wonderful, loving boyfriend but we have decided kids are not for us. I don’t want to pass the bipolar gene onto my  kids (science says its genetic) and I don’t think I’m mentally well equipped to raise kids. This could change but bipolar disorder is something you can’t cure, only treat and I don’t want to gamble with innocent lives. I’m happy to be here. Lets leave it at that. 

Oh yeah and I finished my first knitting project. It’s a blue hat. At first it was going to be a gift for my baby cousin but it ended up being way bigger, almost too big for me. But it does fit me and I feel so awesome. I can’t wait to get started with future projects. Also Scout always goes on my lap when I knit.