Lovable

These questions are from the journal Lovable: A Journal for Practicing Self-Love and Embracing the Irresistible Person You Are

“Secret Garden” (2019)My garden is beautifuL Daisies and sunflowers overflow from neat beds of soil. The grass and vines are lush. There is a bench where I can sit and read and write. There will hycinths, dahlias, orchids and even a small bed for cacti (the climate suits all). There is a fountain in the middle of the yard with pennies scattered on the bottom (thrown in with hope not desperation). Roses bloom along the entranceway and tulips flourish against the back wall. 

“A Loving Path” (2019)

I’m getting over a very tough breakup with my ex Mark. Alot of the time I tell myself “I should be over this. It’s been 3-4 months. Why do I cry about it” But the churn of thesee feelings are carrying me through to acceptance. The fact was Mark was my best friend and he betrayed me. I need to be gentle with myself. Seeing my brother and his girlfriend together hurt me. It was hard to see. I’m hoping with time these feelings will lessen.

“The Value of I” (2019)

I was alone today for a few hours. I liked it could blast my music and sing along. I might even live alone one day. But i like being with people. However I think my alone time (like on a bus or something) are very productive and good for my creativity. And I used to do all the artistic stuff in my room alo ne. So maybe I’m a person who can thrive in both. 

“A Storybook Life” (2019)

In Chapter 24 Leigh publishes her second book, the Girl that Flies, with much success. The library begged for a copy (or five). She researched a college and begins classes where she immediately meets friends and earns straight  As. She is able to go off of some of her meds and cut back on caffeine. She has gotten over her break with Mark. She has many friends and sees Derrick’s family often. She has more independence. She gets less panic attacks and checks. Maybe her handwriting will improve (though I doubt that part).

“Let Love In” (2019)

I have many barriers between myself and love. As I explained to —-- yesterday, I have no trust. Mark completely changed me blasting me with anger I suspect should have  been aimed at his family. When someone turns on you like that, how can you trust them? I don’t even want to love again and that makes me so sad I just want to cry at night. I guess I could unlatch these doors by grieving my loss and crying all the tears away.