Psych Ward Bingo Part 4

Cheeking meds	Quiet Room	6 Am Vitals	Apple juice	1:1
Hardboiled eggs	Pet therapy	Group	Uno	Rounds
Courtyard	Self-injury	Music Therapy	Doctor’s Meetings	Psychological Testing
Case studies	Christmas tree	Visiting Hours	Zombieland	Peanut butter and jelly
Code Red	Six Am Coffee	Pay Phones	Email	Body Maps

Case Studies: Because I was presenting with conflicting symptoms (symptoms of borderline personality disorder but also symptoms of psychosis which came from  the bipolar disorder I hadn’t been diagnosed with yet) the hospital chose to make me a subject of the case study, conducted by a well known clinician who I will not name but who had studied borderline personality disorder so vigorously most people suspected he just saw it everywhere  he went. There were many people who sat in on the case study interview (I can’t remember exactly but between twelve and twenty. And all of them seemed to be men). The clinician questioned me about my relationships, my self harm habits, my past alcohol abuse and even my sex life. He didn’t handle me with kid gloves even though I was incredibly. Afterward I was informed he diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder or histrionic disorder. The bipolar, once again, went unexamined, undetected.

Christmas Tree: I was only hospitalized once for Christmas and it sucked. Picture if you will a Charlie Brown Christmas tree with absolutely no ornaments, lights or presents underneath. It was a sad little plastic tree. Someone clearly shelled out 4.99 (at most) so we could be reminded that while we were stuck in here with this pathetic tree people were celebrating real trees with the people they loved and the freedom we lacked.

Visiting Hours: Visiting hours at the first hospital were very lenient. I wish they extended it a little later (to my memory it was until eight o clock which was when they started giving out evening meds) but it was a generous amount of time. During the visits I’d play cards with my parents, sometimes a game of Settlers of Catan if we were feeling ambitious. My mom would bring collections of photographs and we’d look at them together. Sometimes I would read to my Mom. Sometimes my dad would splurge and we’d get to have pizza instead of hospital food. Visiting hours at the second hospital were quite a different story. Instead of one long day of visiting hours there a few hours at a time twice a day. Barely enough time to go home and come back if my parents wanted to visit. Not enough to play Settlers of Catan. And we had to stay in the dining room which gave us no privacy and  meant I couldn’t read. Can you see which team I’m on?

Zombieland: I saw Zombieland at movie night at the first hospital. I had just been told I couldn't return to Scranton that spring and would be put on medical leave. I was broken hearted. I  had sobbed until my parents left and then I sat there like limp lettuce with very puffy eyes. I had 

resolved I would never be happy again. Then I passed the community room and heard laughter. Drawn to happiness, I took a seat on the couch and soon I was laughing too. Wow, I thought, it’s really possible to feel happy so quickly. . Naturally, my sadness did not go away completely. But the movie was like aloe on a burn. It really soothed me at least temporarily.

Peanut butter and jelly sandwich. At the second hospital we had three meals a day- breakfast, lunch, dinner but we also got a snack at med time/ bedtime. It was always a sandwich and an apple and the kind of sandwich rotated based on the day. The only sandwich I’d touch was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I have to admit it was nicer to go to sleep with a full stomach.