Shadow Work Journal

I did it. I didn’t check (OCD) all of February and I got a Shadow Work Journal. Shadow Work involves exploring the deepest parts of yourself. The book I got was written by Keila Shaheen. I’m excited to start my journey inside myself and for you to come with me. First, let’s look at Mindtraps which remind of the cognitive distortions in DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy). I’m going to explore them here.

Anchoring “The first thing you judge influences your judgement of all that follows” 

Confirmation Bias “You favor things that confirm your existing bias”

Unfortunately (and this is humbling to admit) I do this alot. Mostly with the news and politics. If something happens that enforces my view I bring it to my boyfriend’s attention (I have Justin and one other friend I’m brave enough to talk about my opinions with). I have to learn things aren’t black and white and there’s plenty of evidence for the other “side” (am I the only one who hates how there are sides now?)

Reactance: “You’d rather do the opposite of what someone is trying to make you do”

Oh, oh! This absolutely happens all the time since I still live at home. Sometimes I think about going for a walk or to the gym or cleaning my room but then my parents press for it and suddenly I don’t really want to do it anymore since it wasn’t my idea. I am aware this makes me look like a petulant child. 

Sunk Cost Fallacy: “You irrationally cling to something that has already cost you something”

This is a frequent favorite of mine. I remember I was grieving the lost of my best friend Derrick after our big epic fight. My therapist tried to get me to see that he was giving me a lot of pain. “If that lamp over there was costing me alot would you tell me to keep it or get rid of it?” I retorted Derrick was not a lamp. I think I missed the point. But when Derrick came crawling back saying he loved me I tried being friends again but he ghosted me again. Had I not been clinging to him I could have avoided being hurt a second time.

Dunning-Kruger Effect “The more you know the less confident you are likely to be”

This makes sense to me in a weird way. When I was sixteen I started work at a camp for kids with cancer. I was working with three year olds. I didn’t know much. I had babysat but mostly for older kids. We were still figuring things out as a camp too (for example we quickly learned we couldn’t change the little guys up by the pool with the big kids). I didn’t know much but I was very confident because I loved kids and that was enough. However, senior year I got a lead in the school musical. I’d  been doing musicals for years now but between the bitchy director and the cruel cast I had no confidence at all. My voice would dry up during rehearsals and my director would humiliate me. I knew what I was doing but it didn’t help.

Backfire Effect: “When your core beliefs are challenged, it can cause you to belief in them more strongly”

This happens alot with me and Justin. We agree on almost everything except one or two social issues. Luckily we are able to discuss these differences honestly together. Except when Justin throws down the gauntlet it only cements my beliefs/ convictions. So I don’t think (no matter how open minded I try to be) I’ll ever get convinced.

Declinism: “You remember the past  better than it was, and expect the future to be worse than it will likely be”

I have like half of this. I see the future very optimistically, most of all because I plan many pleasant activities for the future (a form of self-care). But I do envision my past better than it was especially my freshmen year of college when I met some amazing  people and had some great experiences. In reality I had problems with my mental health, my love life, and I really had a drinking problem especially in the winter. But looking back I thought that year was paradise.

Framing Effect “You allow yourself to be influenced by context and delivery”

Can you find me someone who doesn’t?

Negativity Bias “You allow negative things to disproportionately influence your thinking”

Several years ago I made my New Year’s resolution to be more optimistic. Since then I think I have a habit of looking on the bright side although its definitely harder in the winter.

So that starts my journey  into shadow work. It’s a journey you and me will take my friend.