Shadow Work Part 3

___People finding out my secrets______ scares me the most. When I become scared or anxious I tend to ____have panic attacks, cry, check (OCD compulsion)____. It sometimes sucks because I ___get frozen by fear and feel like I need help and this makes me feel ___helpless like someone will come “hurt me” .  My anxiety teaches me that I’m a victim and something bad will happen to me. I understand that I am flawed (hypersexual episodes but I love myself unconditionally.

What is my current fear and if it were to happen, what would be the best case scenario?

My biggest fear is my parents finding out about some of the stuff I’ve done (some stuff I was manic, some I was drunk, all of it I was dumb). Best  case scenario I disappoint them. I’ve done it before and they always get over it and love me unconditionally.

If my fears and anxieties were teachers what would they teach me?

I am not my disorder. I have done things I am not proud of but who hasn’t? I’m a good person just doing my best.

How can I build a more positive outlook on the unknown future?

I can know myself. I want to be loyal in my relationships so I can eliminate any flirting and red cards that lead to cheating like being alone with certain  mean or going on chatrooms or sex sites.

Arguements make me tense. I typically feel this sensation in my chest. This makes me very uncomfortable. When this happens its hard to breathe and my heart races. I think this is because I want to get along with everyone  and I can’t handle when people are mad. Next time I feel tense I will soothe myself by using aromatherapy and holding Winnie the Pooh.

When does my anxiety take over my mind and body? Do I see a common recurring them as to what triggers my anxiety?

If someone is mad or if I’ve “messed up” my throat closes, the world spins, and I have a bad panic attack. If someone scolds me or is rude to me (like the woman who screamed at me in the parking lot).

What can I physically do to release my anxious energy and tension?

• Take a bubble bath/ shower (with aromatherapy)

• Read with Mom

• Write a poem

• Take a nap/ lie down (because sometimes when I get stressed I get headaches)

• Shoot hoops (I used to do this. Maybe I should do it again)

What thoughts help soothe my anxiety? How can I improve my self-talk to be less self-critical when these emotions arise?

• “You’re fine. You’re going to be okay. Take a deep breath. You are a good person, a queen of God and loved by God and loved by many friends, family and Justin. And animals too. And Winnie the Pooh!” 

Do your own shadow work by filling in the blanks!