Ten Habits to Quit Part One

                          1000 Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differently

                                              Ten Habits to Quit

1. Quit procrastinating on your goals.

I never do that. My goals come first.

2. Quit blaming others and making excuses.

            I could blame —---- or —------ or —-----. But they did not cause my bipolar disorder. And they all had issues of their own.

3. Quit trying to avoid change.

            I have to accept that change happens. Here are ten big changes that happened in my own life, both positive and negative:

• Starting high school (which is eighth grade and ushered in a whole series of life changing episodes from being sexually assaulted to figuring out my sexuality to my first kiss)

• Leaving high school (I was sent to a special therapy school since I was severely depressed. After that I was homeschooled for the rest of the school year)

• Starting my second high school which was a Catholic all girls school that I would attend until college

• Started drinking (I started drinking when I was fifteen and that was a major change for me. It wasn’t until I was seventeen that I began to self-medicate in earnest)

• Started at University of Scranton. University of Scranton will always be a home away from home for me. I left after trying to slit my wrists and the school refunded my parents for that semester even though it was after the date they offered  money back. They were very concerned about me and made an exception. I will always view that school fondly.

• Went into the hospital. I’ve been hospitalized around six or seven times in different places for different reasons. Each experience was a new adjustment.There were times I tried to harm myself in the hospital because I was so desperate and scared. Sometimes I didn’t feel safe in the hospital: from myself or other people.

• Went on medical leave. Leaving Scranton the first time was not a choice but the school did not feel I was mentally competent to take me back. They said I could come back the next semester as a junior which meant missing most of my sophomore year. Thankfully my therapist recommended Meetup because I didn’t have any friends. Through Meetup I met Rockland Poets and that has been one of the top changes in my life. Today I am a Rockland Poets organizer and all my best friends I met through Rockland Poets. They are incredible  people.

• My suicide attempt was a big change. After I was released from the psych ward, I was placed in an outpatient program. After attending the program during the day I was too tired from all the meds they were pumping me full of. I would sometimes craft but mostly I’d just read and sleep. It wasn’t much of a life honestly. Luckily I got used to the meds and was able to return to my job.

• Meeting Justin. Justin is the best thing that ever happened to me (followed close behind by my alcohol abstinence and again, joining Rockland Poets). In case you didn’t know, we met on a dating site. We took it slow but we also really liked each other and as of today we’ve been together for over four years. 

• Gaining weight. Alot of people have been suggesting Ozempic as a solution (or some other such weight loss drug). Because I am on a significant amount of other medication we aren’t sure if that is safe. I am working so hard to lose this weight but its like swimming upstream. Sometimes Im so hungry it feels like my stomach is eating itself. I’m losing this weight. That is a promise. 

4. Quit trying to control the uncontrollable 

                                                                         Things Out of My Control

• The weather (I have to remember this when snowstorms ruin my plans)

• How others view me

• If I’m sick

• My boobs

• Not being the “prettiest” in a group

5. Quit talking down to yourself

Instead of saying “My boobs are too small” (its a distortion of mine) say “My boobs are above average and I don’t want to be with a boy who thinks about my boobs anyway

Instead of saying “I’m fat” say “You are a little overweight but so many girls are also overweight and considered beautiful. Don’t be the one to bodyshame yourself; just focus on getting healthier”

Instead of saying “He doesn’t love me” say “He’s probably working/ sleeping/ busy. Sometimes you don’t text back right away either” 

Instead of “I have no friends” say “So who are all those people who have rushed to me when I’m sad or upset? And come to my parties? And tell me what a great friend I am? You are appreciated. Your friendship matters”

Instead of saying “I’m a burden” say “I have to deal with many burdens most people don’t understand. But I’m lucky to  have parents who understand. I don’t smoke pot all day and watch TV. I work hard and keep busy”