Ten Secrets of Adulthood

Gretchen Rubin collects and composes “Secrets of Adulthood” which are “Simple Truths for Our Complex Lives”. They first appeared in her book The Happiness Project and in the spring she published a book called Secrets of Adulthood which is a collection of advice from her and other wise minds. Here are ten Secrets of Adulthood:

1. It’s important to be nice to everyone.

 I don’t particularly like everybody but you usually can’t tell. My friend Adam likes to remind of a situation where me and this girl were just not  meshing. “I am going to be so nice to her, she’s going to want to be my friend!” I declared. I don’t even remember this but apparently he was impressed by this. 

2. Turning a computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch

I find this also applies to cell phones.

3. Happiness doesn’t always feel happy.

I have to remind myself of this alot. While I love going to the gym and working out, I absolutely hate getting sweaty and showering. Actually I hate showering in general. I don’t remember if I had this aversion to showering my whole life or just since my first major depressive episode. Anyway, I hate it. But obviously being clean and healthy is part of happiness therefore happiness doesn’t always feel happy. Other things that contribute to happiness are dieting (or at least eating less of my favorite foods which are usually fried) and cleaning my room. I love when my room is neat but I don’t like cleaning. Happiness doesn’t always feel happy.

4. You don’t have to be good at everything.

Things I’m Good At: Piano, singing, writing, crafting, knitting, soccer, making eggs. Things I’m Poor At: math, cooking anything other than eggs, pottery, chess, running.

5. Over-the-counter medications are very effective.

I can’t take most medications because of all the psychiatric meds I’m on. Unfortunately that includes Midol which seems to be the only thing that works for period cramps plus it has caffeine. I can only take Tylenol no matter how bad a migraine gets. Sometimes I push off taking Tylenol when I get a headache. I think I underestimate how well Tylenol works and usually if I haven’t taken it I regret it later and wish I did before it got this bad.

6. Sometimes it’s easier to make last minute plans than planning in advance.

This has always amused me. We can plan a girls night for Friday but we had to schedule the spa day two months in advance.

7. Even a weekend away from home and routine can be enough for a real vacation.

I get a vacation every weekend when I go to Justin’s in the summer or in the rest of the year when Justin stays at my house. We spend our time at poetry slams, building Lego’s and watching Youtube videos. He comes to my family’s gatherings and sometimes we make trips to Hershey Park or Mystic, Connecticut or the American Dream Mall (overnight trips several times a year). For those who are interested, Justin lives an hour away from me so he can’t come over every night. Once we had known each other a while, we visited each other on weekends. These weekend visits have sustained our relationship and are probably one of the reasons we are still together today.

8. People probably aren’t as interested in your hobbies or your travels as they seem to be

Bad news for my blog. 

9. Once a group includes five people, a single conversation is very hard to maintain.

I love large parties. Because there are so many small conversations going on that I can have my pick. But mostly I love either a one on one interaction or a conversation between three people. If it gets much bigger I risk getting left out. I am proud to announce that my book club has ten people and we don’t usually have problems having a singular conversation.

10. If you can’t think of a topic of conversation ask “What’s keeping you busy these days?”

This is good advice. This way no one has to talk about something they may not want to like a job or school. They choose what to discuss. You turn the conversation over to them. 

Well, I’ve had a very good day. Several months ago a woman from my knitting group passed away. Today the woman in our knitting circle that was closest to her gave her a knitting bag full of supplies like caps, markers for counting stitches, scissors and tape measures. She said she wanted me to have it. What an honor. Then at the gym I jacked up  my speed .4 mph. Soon I’ll be able to join The Long Walk!