Twin Dragons

Book: The Food Addiction Recovery Workbook

I’m still browsing through the Food Addiction Recovery Workbook where it describes impulsivity and compulsivity as “twin dragons”. Impulsivity is more about arousal and gratification whereas compulsivity is a desire to be free from discomfort. I didn’t know that before reading this book but now I’m grateful I do. I am an impulsive person but certainly not as bad as I was (flirting with everyone close to me, drinking every kind of alcohol, getting in cars with people who should not be driving). I am a compulsive person. I don’t know if that’s only cuz I have OCD but alot of my compulsive behavior stems from that. And let’s see how I do once food is factored in.

             Exercise: Are You An Impulsive Person?

1. I often do things without thinking. This used to be true but now I’d say false.

2. I find myself saying things I later regret. No not really. False

3. When I think about my “food fix” it makes me feel tingly or excited or happy. TRUE! Also known as DUH! The term “food fix” encompasses alot. Anything fried, chips, carbs. I have a very inclusive list.

4. I don’t plan my meals; I just eat whatever feels good in the moment. True. I try to plan my meals, look at the menu before I get to the restaurant so I won’t be swayed by what my friends say and announce it in the car.

5. When I’m bored I tend to overeat or eat certain foods. True

6. I get upset over small things and tend to use food to calm myself down. True. If I’m having a bad day, I’m much more likely to indulge. 

7. I often start a new diet enthusiastically but have trouble sticking with it. True. I was all gungho before Cape Cod about losing weight and I just ate a bowl of pretzels and another of applesauce. It fades fast.

8. If I were given a choice between eating a food fix now versus waiting 20-30 minutes and having access to more of that food I wouldn’t be able to wait. That is false. If there is a chance I can get more? Hell yeah I’m in. I don’t have too much self-discipline but I have enough to know when I’m getting a good deal.

9. If I see or smell a food I like, I can’t help but eat some. True (Unfortunately. Bakeries are like running a gauntlet)

10. Sometimes when I pass by a fast food restaurant I find myself driving through the drive through even though I didn’t plan to do that and even though I’m not hungry. Sort of. If Justin has to stop for gas, I have to go in and get a snack. Im really trying to break that habit. But if it’s Chick Fil A all bets are off.

Apparently identifying with four or more of the above statements you may have an impulsive nature. But we knew that already.

List one way below in which you find yourself being impulsive:

• I used to get protein shakes at the gym because they had trace amounts of caffeine and calories galore. I justified it because I was there exercising the calories off.

What thoughts, emotions, environmental cues or situations tend to trigger your impulsivity around food?

• When people are snacking around me

Based on the questions above, what purpose do you think your impulsive behavior around food serves. 

(the book provides examples)

1. Impulsive eating makes me feel excited or “revved” up.                            True

2. Impulsive eating gives me something to look forward to.                           True

3. Impulsive eating really does give me my fix for the day. The food feels the same as alcohol feels for an alcoholic.                                                                   True. As someone who has struggled with alcohol addiction I wait all day for when it is appropriate for me to stuff my face. I know people are taken aback by how seriously I take food. One hour could mean a lifetime if it got in the way of food.

(mine)

4. Impulsive eating helps me feel free and frankly a little rebellious.

5. Impulsive eating helps me feel uninhibited. Almost like I’m drunk on food. 

And that’s just impulsivity. Tomorrow we’ll get to the compulsions.