A Peek at My Childhood

    Shadow Growth Journal

Day One: What intrigued or fascinated you as a child?

• Princesses (particularly Disney)

• Witches

• Writing stories

• Making books

Day Two: What did you love daydreaming about when you were young?

• Giving an interview as a bestselling writer

• Starring in the movie of my books

Day Three: What games did you play when you were alone?

• I’d take care of my American Girl dolls and we’d play school and have picnics

Day Four: Are there any secrets you hold from childhood?

• Most people  know I had a terrible fear of  my gym teacher because I thought he wanted to “marry me”

Day Five: How would you introduce yourself to your childhood self?

• “Leigh, this is Leigh. She’s awkward as hell but she really loves writing and wish she had an easier time growing up”

Day Six: How do you think your inner child would describe you today?

• Tough (Biker jacket)

• Smart

• Resilient

• Popular

• Badass

• Beautiful

Day Eight: Make a short list of the things you love about your childhood self?

• Lovable

• Affectionate

• Smart

• Curious

• Excitable

• Enthusiastic

• Mermaid in the bathtub

Day 9: What do you wish you could tell your childhood self?

• It’s a rough journey to get there

• There will be fire but you won’t be incinerated

Day Ten: Who was your childhood hero? Why do you think they were so significant?

• —-- —---. Although in my fantasies I was a witch saving him from my evil and (nonexistent) cousins. 

Day Eleven: Do you think you saw the world differently as a child compared to now?

• Yes. I thought as a kid that if I did the right thing (followed the rules) nothing bad would happen. 

Day Twelve: Make a short list of the significant things you’ve made it through so far:

• Bullying (elementary school to high school)

• Sexual assault

• OCD diagnosis

• Bipolar disorder diagnosis

• Hospitalizations

• Suicide attempts

• The death of several loved ones

Day Thirteen: Would your childhood self be proud of who you are today?

• I think she would be. She is a writer, she has a lot of friends and she’s in a very happy, healthy relationship

Day Fifteen: What do you think your inner child was most afraid of?

• My gym teacher. This sounds unrealistic but I/she was actually terrified.

Day Sixteen: What was something you needed in childhood that you give yourself now?

• I take advantage of sensory experiences, essential oils, fuzzy socks and also the grounding process

Day Seventeen: Are there other things now that you could be giving yourself but you’re not?

• I could take better care of my body. I load it  up with trash

• Caffeine and carbs

Day Eighteen: What emotions did you have to hold back as a child?

• I hid that I  was sad alot

• I was also very angry and would rip classmates apart in my journal

Day Nineteen: Why did you hold them back? How can you release them as your present self?

• I didn’t care about anyone liking me. I just wanted to write stories and read books.

Day Twenty: Are thre emotions that you still struggle with? How are they connected?

• I struggle with the thought that older men will hurt me like I once worried about my gym teacher

Day Twenty Two: What nurtured you as a child? What nurtures you now?

• My mom, dad and family nurtured me as a child. I grew up having everything material, unlimited love and when I  needed it, therapy.

Day Twenty Three: What does your inner child say when you speak to her?

• She asks why I didn’t take better care of her, why I didn’t tell my parents how scared I was.

Day Twenty Four: What values were expected of you while you were growing up?

• Respect your elders

• Keep your hands to yourself

• Be polite

• Share toys

Day Twenty Five: How are your values different today? Are they? 

• I’m still polite and I still ask before I touch something

Day Twenty Six: What beliefs did your childhood self have about  themselves, the world and others?

• Being a writer would be easy (it’s not)

• —--- would marry me

• Unrequited love was fun and poetic

Day Twenty Seven: What is something from your childhood you hold on to even today?

• My OG Winnie the Pooh. His ears are crinkled because I used to chew on them.

Day Twenty Nine: What is something you needed to  hear as a child that you could say today?

• You are safe, surrounded by people who love you. No one will hurt you.