A Tiny Diary for Not-So-Tiny Secrets

Justin and I were exploring yesterday and I came across a small notebook in a store. It was called “A Tiny Diary for Not-So-Tiny Secrets”. As someone who collects secrets, I had to have it. For the next five Mondays, I will be sharing five secrets each from the notebook. Some I may have discussed (in which case the secret wasn’t really well kept). Some might be new. All of these secrets will be mine; I’m not including the secrets of friends and family. Also names have been changed (or completely taken out) to protect the innocent (or so I don’t get sued).

Date: 2008

Topic: Me, Romance

I had a secret crush on —------- —--------. He was in the year above me and extremely popular (and well, I wasn’t). My crush went from fifth grade to eighth grade when he tried (key word) to solicit naked photos from me and got me in trouble. The way he used me and tried to exploit me made me mourn for all those years I spent pining for an absolute loser. 

Date: 2012

Topic: Me, Romance

Ah, —-- —--. I’ve had several dalliances with him (starting when I was in eighth grade) but the longest was when I was fifteen (underage). We had an affair one summer. My parents were furious. And in case you are interested I was a freshman in high school. He was a freshman in college. 

Date: 2013

Topic: Me

I probably teased —----- or led him on or made him think I wasn’t serious when I told him to back off. As a result, he assaulted me when we were waiting for our rides after the library closed. No one knows because I was convinced it was my fault. Girls (and guys) out there, even if you are flirting it is not your fault if some guy assaults you. You could be walking around naked and  it still wouldn’t be your fault (though you might get arrested for indecent exposure). And please tell someone because later I discovered he did this with my friend. ‘

Date: 2013

Topic: Me, Romance

Before the youth group split, I was madly in love with —-- —---- (aka light bulb). Light Bulb had a girlfriend who didn’t  much like  me and I had a boyfriend who didn’t much like me so it didn’t work out but I always harbored feelings as his female BFF. It was particularly hard because at first the four of us plus our friend Charles all got along and would all watch movies and play Four Square and man hunt. But as it progressed his girlfriend got more possessive until it was hard to be friends with him at all. 

Date: 2016

Topic: Me, Relationship

I cheated on a very special guy and  made him hate me. I was manic and not diagnosed as bipolar yet. I was introduced to him by my best friend and when I got sick at his apartment he came to the hospital with me. This guy stayed by my side in the hospital for six hours while waiting for my parents and he barely knew me. I was happiest at Scranton when I was with Mike even though I wasn’t drinking. Over the summer we were apart and it was harder. I felt I wasn’t getting enough attention (spoiler alert: I need alot of attention) and I made a mistake. I told him about it and the next night he  broke up with me which hurt like hell. It hurt because I knew I deserved it. 

These are the kinds of secrets I have that I am willing to expose to the internet. There are other secrets I have that I’ll keep to the grave . You are my blog but you are not my diary. Sorry.