Abstaining

It is no secret that one of my favorite authors is Gretchen Rubin who brought us masterpieces such as The Happiness Project and Life in Five Senses. In her book Better than Before, which is all about making and keeping habits, she notes two kinds of people: the ones who can indulge in moderation and the complete abstainers, the ones who have to quit cold turkey. I’ve realized that I am one of those people. As I’ve mentioned before, I am very good at abstaining. It all started with Lent. Tradtionally, in the Catholic church, Lent is a time where you either give something up that is important to you or practice acts of kindness. It is the holiest time of the year.

            As a child, I took this “giving things up” very seriously. One year I gave up my daily chocolate milk which was hard because I had come to depend on it. That was the Lent I started drinking apple cider. The next year I had to up the ante: I gave up chocolate milk and apple cider. Then, I picked up an iced tea habit. The next year I got rid of all three. It was the most challenging so far.   Since then I’ve gotten creative with my resolve. One year I gave up sex. My boyfriend didn’t like that but he was patient and I felt really good about myself afterward. There is something to be said for chastity.

As you know I am seven and a half years sober as of yesterday. I came close to doing a jello shot on New Year’s Eve but my friends and Justin deterred me and I’m so grateful. This is why I let everyone know I’m sober- so they can respect it. Stopping alcohol completely was the only way I could give it up. I have a friend who is an alcoholic but he only drinks beer, not hard liquor. I don’t even drink beer. Some could do it. I know I would go down the rabbit hole. One beer would turn into two beers. Two beers would turn into three. One occasion would turn into weekly, then daily. My Zero Heineken keeps me company while everyone drinks around me.

            Giving up Monster and soda will be harder because the only reason I drank them was for caffeine. At this point, I’m on ten medications and that takes a toll. I am sleepy all the time. I depended on these drinks to wake me up at the risk of activating my mania. One time when I was eighteen I downed five Monster energy drinks in two hours. The result is the above picture where I actually felt like I was tripping on drugs (I don’t do that anymore). I was also trying to substitute caffeine for alcohol.

            Soda I only used to drink in social situations. But it’s not a good choice for someone trying to lose weight and to be honest I’m not a fan of the taste (it should be noted I do like the taste of Monster). So I don’t think I’ll miss it too much. But then again I’m only five days. I’ll keep you all posted on how the resolution is going. In the meantime, please comment about things you are abstaining from, whether they are New Year’s resolutions or plans for Lent (which is next month). Any idea of what I should give up this year? Thanks!