All the Dangerous Things Discussion (Spoilers)

In case you didn’t know, I am part of a book club which I started several years ago with my friends. This month we read All the Dangerous Things by Stacy Willingham and I had no idea how relevant it would be to current events. In the book, Isabelle (the protagonist) believes she has killed her infant son while sleepwalking the same way she killed her younger sister, Margaret, as a child. Towards the end it is revealed that Isabelle’s mother, following the death of her infant daughter and suffering from extreme postpartum psychosis, drowned Margaret in the marsh (she also attempts to drown Isabelle but her father intervenes). As a result, Isabelle suffers from guilt and trauma for the rest of her life until the truth is revealed. 

In the author’s note, Stacy addresses the issue of postpartum psychosis saying she based the character of Isabelle’s mother on Andrea Yates. For those who don’t know, Andrea Yates drowned her five children in the bathtub in 2001. She was convicted of capital murder but later that was converted to not guilty by reason of insanity and she was committed to a state hospital. Obviously the reason I’m saying this discussion is timely is because last week I wrote a blog post about mother Lindsay Clancy who killed her three kids. It is quite possible that the Andrea Yates case could be used as a precedent in the Lindsay Clancy trial. 

Five mental health experts testified on behalf of Andrea Yates, saying she didn’t know what she was doing was wrong versus the one mental health expert testifying for the prosecution (https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC544453) . Yates believed she was saving her children from hell. Bipolar disorder as well as depression ran in Yates family and as I mentioned in the Lindsay Clancy case, bipolar disorder makes postpartum psychosis more likely. Yates, like Clancy, had a history of mental illness with multiple hospitalizations over the course of numerous pregnancies. Her psychiatrist did advise the Yates (Andrea and her husband Russell)  not to have a fifth child after she struggled so much after her fourth pregnancy. However, they did anyway. This is not blaming them. I don’t think either of them could have predicted what would happen; however, it is usually wise to listen to medical professionals. 

There were many psychotic symptoms between Andrea Yate’s last hospitalization and the day of the drowning. However, she kept most of these to herself. Honestly, this is kind of how I was in the days prior to my suicide attempt. I knew something was wrong. I was hearing voices telling me to hurt myself. I was afraid to be alone because i was very convinced someone would attack me.  I would have episodes where I locked myself in the bathroom too afraid to come out. I didn’t tell anyone because I was afraid I would be sent back to the mental institution. I was afraid I couldn’t attend the school I loved. I was afraid of everything. Psychosis is scary enough without the extra responsibility of children. I can’t imagine the terror of being responsible for children while going through all that. Of course I have compassion for her. As if she wanted any of this.

She was prescribed antipsychotics (which were eventually what made me stop wanting to kill myself) but her psychiatrist took her off them because of side effects. I don’t know anything more than that but yes, antipsychotics have powerful side effects. I have gained about fifty pounds on several antipsychotics. I have developed severe tremors. It affects my hormones. It gives me akathisia. It has rampaged my body. But I need it. My doctor will not take me off it yet. It’s too much of a risk. With Andrea Yates, it was also a gamble. And they lost.  (https://engagedscholarship.csuohio.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1174&context=clevstlrev) 

In All the Dangerous Things Isabelle’s mother also attempts to seek help from her husband, practically begging him to spend less time at work. She is often left alone for days with her children in a psychotic state. In the years that follow, her parents are left behind a veil of guilt. A guilt so many mothers are left to carry after suffering this insidious disease. They will always have my sympathy as well as the poor children whose lives were ended far too soon.