Feelings Journal: Anxious

Date: 11/2/2018

Sometimes it feels like my entire life is spent in a constant state of anxiety. At the beginning of the week I was anxious about men from my past finding me and hurting me. I try to reassure myself that my parents will never stop loving me. And sometimes I’m just anxious for no damn reason. Right now I feel like I could have a panic attack any minute. I’m sitting all comfy in my  snuggly chair. Mom and Susie (my cat) are a few feet away. If there is anywhere I should feel safe, it’s here. It’s gotten worse with it getting dark earlier which is a shame because I generally enjoy fall. I am aware that I have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), diagnosed at age 11. Recently I have to check….count my journals and my stickers to make sure they are all there. Fuck I’m even worrying I won’t be able to fill up this page. Mom just noticed that I’m on the anxiety page. She suffers when I suffer so I try not to let her know how anxious I get. Honestly sometimes I worry this anxiety will get so bad that it’ll right back to the mental hospital. But some stuff does calm me. I think my daily bath calms me. Playing games with my parents help me. Also Winnie the Pooh (the stuffed animals and the books) help. The power of Pooh!