Goodbye 26

In less than 24 hours, I will be 27 years old. Goodbye, 26. It was a very…complicated year. It was mostly smooth sailing until I got Covid. And then I was manic. And then I was depressed. And then I was manic. And then I was suicidal (don’t worry, I’m not anymore). And then I was manic. Do you sense a pattern? Eventually, sometime in July, I was hospitalized, which was a brutal experience. There was no privacy, everyone yelled, and the showers were filthy (as was everything else). Easily the worst part of my year.

But there were good parts too, usually with friends, family, or my boyfriend, Justin. Justin and I went to the American Dream mall in New Jersey, had a romantic Valentine’s Day dinner, and went to a killer shark exhibit in the Natural History Museum. We had so many adventures together. I know we’ll make many more.

Yesterday in therapy my therapist and I talked about goals going forward and identified five.

Here they are:

1) Driving. I used to drive quite frequently, especially to and from my high school (which is about a half-hour drive and involves a highway). I went away to college, came back, and had developed a strong fear of driving. Perhaps it's my OCD (there is such a thing known as ‘hit and run OCD’), or perhaps I’m just petrified of an accident where it’s my fault, but I haven’t driven since. It’s very inconvenient especially since my boyfriend lives an hour away and has to do all the driving. Also sometimes I just want to go to the gym or the library but can’t because I don’t have a ride at the moment.

2) Get better at blogging. I took a look at my blog traffic yesterday. It indicates several things: 1) blog traffic is increasing even though my subscribers are decreasing 2) interviews are generally the most popular type of post (and I will be doing more of them). I want to change the posting schedule from every three days to every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I’m aware this is alot but writing is my full time job so I feel like I should be up to the challenge. I need to further increase web traffic to my blog. I’ve started posting my links on Instagram, Reddit and Twitter in addition to Facebook. Any other ideas please let me know!

3) Find work. I want to join the workforce again….I think. In the past I’ve worked as a camp counselor for sick children, in retail and at a library. I would like join the workforce to make money and meet more people my age. Maybe it’s a feeling of chasing legitimacy. As a self-employed writer (even with five books), no one takes you seriously. Maybe that’s what I’m looking for.

4) Get Story of Hope published. I confess I’m stalled. Querying is no fun. It’s a lot of emailing, a lot of attachments and a lot of organization. And lots of rejection. But I have a great query, an awesome proposal and an amazing book. I know if I persevere I’ll get there.

5) This goal is private but I will let you know once I’ve accomplished it. Deal?

Wish me luck going into 27! I have a good feeling about this!