Last Thursday my boyfriend took me to his company's ball game. I came in knowing two people (and one of them wasn't there). I did not find this daunting. This is because many times in adolescence and my early twenties I was the new girl- at youth groups, at library groups, at writing groups, at gaming club. It wasn't unusual for me to make friends in unusual places like the mental institution or partial therapy. So a company baseball game didn’t present any problems. We were at the end of a long table of people and they were talking movies. Well, no one talks movies like Justin. In fact, when we did move the table to sit next to them one of them hailed Justin as the “movie expert”. Being the farthest down the table is a disadvantage socially but you got to work with what you got. I zeroed in on the girl across from me, complimented her phone case which she said she got on Etsy. Instant bond.
I compare breaking into a group as jumping into the deep water of an unknown swimming pool without knowing the temperature. These are literal strangers to you. The only way you can learn more about them is observing and then jumping in whenever you can. For example Justin’s coworkers were discussing “The Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria” “Why is it that order?” one of the guys asked which prompted a brand new conversation. “They are alphabetical!” I chimed in (the equivalent of jumping into the water). The table could have regarded me as an idiot but they actually all looked impressed. The water was welcoming. The jump was a success,
Not every jump will be, of course. Sometimes you get blank faces. Sometimes your compliments are brushed off. Just remember the more jumps you do, the more comfortable you’ll be….whatever the outcome.
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