How to Get Help If You Are Suicidal
- Catherine Moscatt
- May 17, 2023
- 4 min read
May is Mental Health Awareness month. On average there are 130 suicides every day. A suicide occurs every eleven minutes. 12.2 million people have seriously thought about suicide. Have you been one of them? Are you one of them right now? If you are please don’t feel alone. There is hope and there is help and we will get you better. I tried to take my own life a few days after my 21st birthday and I bare my soul in this blog post because I’m so glad I got a second chance. You will be too. Promise.
1) If you need help in the moment call the suicide hotline. It’s there for a reason. If you can wait, seek out a friend. Not an acquaintance, someone loyal, someone who will help get through this. Together seek out an adult you can trust. If you don’t have such a friend (or maybe that’s part of the reason you’re in such a desperate state), proceed to step 2 immediately.
2) Seek out an adult. Preferably one you trust and one who is in a position to help you like your teacher or your best friend’s mom (or ideally if you feel comfortable, your parents). Tell them the truth: that you are worried about your safety. If you need calming down, hug a stuffie, squeeze a stress toy, listen to some soothing music. Do not leave the presence of the adult.
3) Be honest to prevent injury. “I don’t want to go to the bathroom because I’m scared I’ll cut myself with the razors” “I don’t want to drive to the ER because I’m scared to drive” If you have already hurt yourself show/ tell an adult immediately, especially if you have swallowed a potentially fatal dose of pills.
4) You will most likely be admitted to a psychiatric institution but first, you will be evaluated by the on-call psychiatrist. I remember my on-call psychiatrist blinking thoughtfully. ”You are very insightful,” he told me. Once you are admitted you will most likely be assigned a one to one to make sure you don’t try to hurt yourself again. Being in the hospital won’t make your suicidal urges go away, it will just make them hard to act on. And yes the nursing staff will follow you into the toilet and the shower so don’t even think about acting there.
5) Be honest (clearly that’s important here) to your treatment team. I was manic in the hospital and my psychiatrist and his team wanted me to report on every symptom so I admitted that even though I had a boyfriend I was very aroused by one of the new patients. It's embarrassing admitting that in front of about five people, mostly interns. But it was another indication that I did indeed have bipolar disorder. Doctors can’t diagnose if you aren’t honest. They might prescribe the wrong medicine instead and that can be a big disaster.
6) Give pills a chance. We’ve come a long way from lobotomies (though ECT is still a legitimate form of therapy). I am currently on 12. They make me sluggish, they affect my balance and I lactate. But I have never again swallowed pills or slashed my wrists again. I would say to keep an open mind. Modern medicine has really helped people function.
7) Build a team. Besides your doctor/ social worker, it is a good idea to build a team for when you are done with the hospital. Reach out to your friend from step 1. Thank her for saving your life. She is a true friend. Hopefully, your parents are also on the team even if you are in your twenties. Parents take care of us. It’s what they do. Communicate with your outside world by phoning daily (or at least try. There are always some phone hogs milling about trying to dial their entire address book). Your unit might even have email. Ours had built-in tablets so you could send emails. Since the doctor always woke me up early I would have time to send emails before the mad rush to watch Rick and Morty on Youtube.
8) Your treatment will most likely continue after leaving the hospital, whether it’s an individual or an outpatient program. You might feel impatient, like this is an intrusion on your life. The very life you were going to throw away. You are going to have to fight tooth and nail to get it to where you want to be. These are the building blocks of health.
9) As your discharge date approaches we deal with questions such as where will you live? How will you support yourself? If you live at home the answers are obvious. But hospitals will be reluctant to discharge you to an apartment of your own, particularly if you don’t have a job. Look into group homes. They get a bad rep but it’s a supervised environment and anyone recovering from a suicide attempt needs one, because another can come quickly, like a wave.
10) It seems hard now. It seems like it would have been way easier if you succeeded. But then you wouldn’t have your first moment where you say to yourself “I’m glad I’m still alive for this” You will find yourself saying that more and more. Four years later and I have never been so grateful for a second chance.
It’s hard now. But I promise (pinky swear) it will get better. You will get better.
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-2738255
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