Ingredients of Happiness (You, Happier)

Today we return to one of my favorite books of all time You, Happier by Dr. Daniel Amen. I wanted to take my life and rate it in terms of the happiness “ingredients” Dr. Amen listed at the bottom of page 7. Here are they are (out of ten):

· Novelty: 8. I make it a point to try new things. I believe a writer, indeed anyone, should have as many experiences as possible (well….to a point). On my birthday, my boyfriend took me out to dinner at a fondue restaurant. I had never had fondue before. We sat in semi-private rooms, there were rose petals on the table and cheese in the pot. Fun Leigh Fact: I used to be afraid of cheese.

· Fun Experiences: 8. I did karaoke with my friends this weekend for my birthday. Some of my friends were harboring amazing voices, some not so great but it was all in great fun and I think everybody got up and did at least one number. I lose track of time when I’m with friends and soon they were hugging me goodbye and I was wondering where the time went.

· Positive Relationships: 9. I am lucky to have a wealth of friends who show up for me on special occasions and every day too. Not to mention the best boyfriend. Seriously I can’t reiterate how lucky I am.

· Laughter: 7. Some things I find funny: cat videos on Instagram, Smosh, and people falling (as long as they aren’t seriously hurt).

· Gratitude: 6. I feel like I could always be more grateful but I try to journal at least three things I’m grateful for every day. I did read that writing down what you are grateful for every once in a while (like twice a week) is more beneficial than every day so I also just make a conscious effort to say a prayer of thanks for say, food (I like food)

· Anticipation: 9. I look forward to things, like really pouring my heart into them. It’s a good thing, it ensures I’m getting the most out of my experience, but it also means there's sometimes a crash right afterwards. Christmas and birthdays I feel it particularly acutely.

· Helping Others: 7. I always try to help others, especially by donating my time. This year I’m going to be a religion teacher helping out with sixth graders. Well, an assistant religion teacher. I was a full-on religion teacher once and it was way too much pressure and responsibility.

· Staying away from comparisons: 4. I compare my life to those of my friends a lot. Not in a malicious way just in a “I wish I had their ___” Usually I compare my body to that of other girls which I’m not proud of and is just a good way of making you feel bad about yourself. Part of it is the fact that I have a warped view of my body and am always seeking validation and another part of it is I live in a society that encourages me to compare my body to other women because isn’t that what matters most?

· Meditation: 2. I don’t meditate. Unless it’s during yoga during trauma therapy. Not sure if that counts. I’m sure meditation has its benefits but so far they have evaded me.

· Nature: 8. I love being in nature. You already know about my affinity for the four seasons but I also go on regular weeks through this area by my house. It s so funny: they installed two dog statues under the benches much to my amusement. We named them Shadow and Bosco. I love going for a walk in the crisp (fall!) air to say hi to Shadow and Bosco.

· Living in the Moment: 6. I could improve. I live in part anticipation, part nostalgia (that is in the future and the past). I try grounding myself occasionally with the five senses but I don’t do it often enough and I shudder to think of the moments passing me by.

· Productive Work: 9. Just because I don’t have a day job doesn’t mean I don’t do work or that I don’t work hard. My day usually starts with a walk or a trip to the gym. After breakfast, I work for about six hours with breaks for reading (which usually contributes to work but which I don’t count as work). I also usually work Saturday or Sunday, sometimes both.

· A Sense of Purpose 9. I have several purposes. One is to make the world a better place through my writing and through giving back to others.

· Spiritual Beliefs: 9. I’m Roman Catholic (in case any stalkers are out there taking notes). I try to go to church every Sunday and I teach religion. It gives me a sort of peace. I continue to pray to God from bathtubs and cars.

· Wanting What You Have: 6. I always want future or past things. It’s very hard to exist in “the now” unless I’m eating or sleeping. I would like my happiness to go beyond these base pleasures. I would like to want what I have.