Inner Child Work Journaling (Shadow Growth Journal)

     Shadow Growth Journal

Reflect on a time from your childhood when you felt unseen or unheard? How does this memory still affect your sense of worth and validation today?

I felt unseen and unheard in eighth grade. I was in alot of emotional pain and I expressed it with my outfits- fishnets, spike bracelets, studded fingerless gloves. In eighth grade I was sexually assaulted before I had my first kiss. Home life was sort of bumpy since I kept lying to my mom and getting grounded. I felt like no teachers were my ally from relentless bullying. 

Recall a moment when you felt deeply rejected or abandoned? How does this experience influence your relationships or fear of intimacy now?

When —------ got cancer and my aunt got cancer and —------ died (from cancer) I was involved with —-----. —----- made it clear in his mind it was only about sex and I wasn’t good enough to be his girlfriend. But then he ghosted me the night before the pandemic again. He came crawling back after but it was over. I was already thinking I didn’t want a friends with benefits relationship. I wanted an actual relationship so I said no. This rejection actually made me more resilient and helped me learn my worth,

Imagine your inner child standing before you. What emotions do they carry and what do they need from you to feel safe and loved.

My inner child carries fear. When I was a kid I had a very strong fear of my gym teacher. I had a fear there was a conspiracy that adults would force me too marry the teacher. I even drafted a list of ways to kill him (including a “poisonous cake” and a swing that “will send you off to Mars”)For two years at school I felt unsafe.