Letters to Myself Part One

When I was in high school I went on a retreat each year. One of our last activities on the weekend long retreat was writing a letter to ourselves that would be mailed out a year later. Here is the first letter I wrote to myself at age fifteen. It was also inspiration for a book I am currently working on full of other letters to myself.

Dear Leigh,

It’s a brand new year. Let’s see what I can make of it. This weekend has been the best weekend of my entire life. Dance party, offertory bonfire, trust falls, blindfolded maze, inspirational talks, “bended hands”, ice breakers and just amazingness. Not to forget the hilarious skits we all created yesterday. From the food to the showers to the 7 am rising, everything was perfect. I’m leaving soon and I’m nervous but excited. Because I know that I have people who love me. So many people have told me how amazing I am and the entire room hugged me. I feel safe and surrounded. 

This year I want to continue to be involved with youth group- camping trip, youth rally, lock-in- those are all around the corner. I want to strengthen my relationship with God because right now we are sort of at war with each other. The important thing is even if absolutely everything crumbles, God will still be there. And I am beautiful, sweet, awesome, caring and so much more. Last night I  threw “Ethan” in the fire. I was done with him. Maybe by the end of the year I’ll have gotten rid of more stuff. Currently there is a little drama with Chris and Julianna.  I’m not going to take any more crap from anyone or let them use me. Maybe I can get out of these little circles I’ve created and stop getting satisfaction from boys. Maybe I can be the girl I’ve been meant to be- not my mistakes because my mistakes don’t define who I am.

 This year I’m going to kick butt- land a role at Helen Hayes, become an Angel Ambassador, drive my grades back p and try new experiences. Never forget who you are, where you came from, who you admire (St. Bernadette, Sean Covey), who has helped you, who you can help, what you believe in and what you stand for. Never forget your talents- writing, singing, basketball. But most of all the skill for empathy, I can make such a difference in this world. Smart, sarcastic and fun loving there is no one like me. I know in t he past suicide has flated through my mind. I realize now how stupid that would be.  I can do so much for this world. This world needs Leigh Winters. I might do stupid things way more than I should but so what? I have a good heart and I’m still finding my way. In the last few months I’ve had so many wonderful experiences. But through religious studies (Poppin Prophets), english, my youth groups, 12 Angry Woman, HHYT, soccer, basketball and everything else that is me. This is me. I don’t know what you’ll do in the next year,,  But I know it is going to be amazing.

Love forever,

Leigh

P.S. and all the groupies agree