My New Job and What it Means For Me

If you’ve been watching my blog, you’ll remember I recently got a new job (which I intend to keep mostly private). I started my new job today and here are some things I learned about myself:

• Feeling panicked and under pressure (Like I might run crying from the  room which I did after I lost a poetry slam or when I was singing at an open mic) does not necessarily mean I will run crying from the room. And guess what? Today there was no running crying from the room.

• I don’t have to be the girl with the handicap. Most well intentioned people will ask if I’m okay because I am “shaking” or “trembling” Sure, I’m not in a wheelchair or missing a limb but it is something I am pretty self-conscious about. Parties are the worst because I’m holding paper plates and I’m shaking so bad my crumbs are jumping off the plate. But today of course no one  noticed (I work at a senior citizens center) or stared or made me feel any different.

• I’m actually not as good at remembering names as I thought I was. Which does not bode well for tomorrow. Maybe that’s why my coworker repeats my name so many times. She is trying to remember it.

• I feel like this is less like a job and more of a creative project. Standing beside a cash register (like when  I worked in retail) doesn’t give you constant incentive reason to think about the work you are doing. I have a list of programs I would like to try implementing  (I’m not about to reinvent the wheel. But I already started a book club at the senior center as a volunteer and that’s going well).

• This job is a way for me to touch people. When I was in high school I worked at a camp for kids with cancer. But it wasn’t just a job. It was a way for me to help people and in turn help myself. I feel like this job is the beginning of an incredible journey for me.