Post Birthday Reflection

First, I would just like to say thank you to everyone for all the birthday wishes, presents, cards, and comments. I feel like even though I’m young, by most people’s standards, I’ve packed a lot into 27 years. It hasn’t always been easy- life experience rarely is- but it was very rewarding and without being cliché, I do feel blessed.

I’m rereading the Happiness Project which is causing me great happiness. I’m on August where she “contemplates the heavens” and the importance of now. I forget how important it is to pause and reflect on the now from time to time even when you’re rushing around with balloons and tiramisu. “Now” is trivia night with Vince and Celeste and Scout and seeing my brother at Christmas. I’d never want to replace it with anything else. I miss Scranton so much sometimes but then I’ll ask myself ‘Was I really happy or have I just gotten good at romanticizing the past?’ Either someday now will be my Scranton. Better pay attention. I don’t like thinking this but it won’t be like this forever.

Each of the four seasons have “now” moments for me. In the fall it’s the smell of wood-burning stoves and fireplaces in the morning. I would smell these while I used to wait for the bus at the bottom of the driveway or walking to class in college (now I don’t get up that early but sometimes it comes sneaking into my room). This is what I call “soccer weather” from the nine or ten seasons of soccer I played for our community rec league. I would wear leggings under my soccer shorts and hoodies under my team shirt for warmth. There is the “fire foliage” where the leaves turn red and brown. My favorite fall elements are decorations- from friendly scarecrows to menacing clowns, I love seeing houses all decked out for fall. It reminds me of when I was little and went trick or treating (most years I was either a princess or a witch. I specialize in extremes). Fun Leigh Fact: fall is my favorite season.

Christmas always activates my OCD, mostly because the sun sets earlier. But I can’t help but look forward to this time of year. Sometimes I catch myself listening to Christmas music in July or something, feeling nostalgic like there will never be another Christmas. There always is, even the Christmas I spent in the hospital. We get a tree and it is probably one of the things I look forward to most about the Christmas season. I must have like 10+ Winnie the Pooh ornaments and I’m always looking for more. The smell of wood-burning stove is replaced by evergreen and balsam candles. Sometimes we get snow. I have discovered I like the concept of snow and being cozy inside (with hot chocolate) while it falls around us but when I actually have to go out in the snow or it interferes with my plans (it ALWAYS interferes with my plans), I hate it. The more you know.

Spring might be my second favorite season. When all the misery melts, we can do more stuff outside (although I don’t spend as much time outside as I should), the days are longer and the world seems a little less hostile. My dad says his favorite holiday is St. Patrick’s Day. Now that all the pressures of going to the parade are off and I’ve given up alcohol, I too enjoy St. Patrick’s Day. I also appreciate walks with my dad now that I don’t have to worry about losing my extremities to snow. Spring is like being let out of a really cold room.

Finally, summer. Just like winter activates the OCD, I have reason to believe that summer triggers my bipolar disorder, or at least the mania. That plus the heat makes me not such a big fan of it. But there are things I always enjoy about summer. Barbecues, listening to the hum of my fan on hot summer nights, reading in the A.C. while the world lazily drifts in slow motion, lethargic.

And the best part is you get to experience all of it every year. That’s one good thing about where I live. I definitely appreciate that too.