Sugar Daddies and Lurkers

Recently I’ve become very active on an app called Threads, which is linked to Instagram. I liked Threads more than most social media sites like Twitter and Tiktok because I was able to meet like-minded creative women and watch them express themselves. There were women on Threads trying to lose weight and love themselves at the same time. There were women on Threads struggling or coming to terms with their bisexuality. There were women on Threads coping with mental illness, cases of bipolar disorder or OCD that I felt I had lived through. Notice I am only mentioning ‘women’. I have nothing against men on the Internet….well thats not entirely true. When I was fifteen I was exploited by a group of men on the internet and it was one of the most shameful and traumatizing things to happen to me. As a result I am very wary of men on the Internet because I know most of them want one thing. The reason I enjoyed Threads so much is that it felt like a community of women, lifting each other up from one challenge or another. I didn’t even see the men. It seemed safe.

I hadn’t posted a picture yet but most women had so I posted two or three photos. I don’t know how to say this without coming off as conceited but I’m pretty. Not as pretty as I was before the weight gain but I do have nice features. But I had seen some of these beautiful women on Threads and figured my photos would pass by unnoticed, maybe earning a like or two. I went to bed. I woke up. I had gained 75 followers overnight (for me that’s big) and many of them were men. There were also comments “Hey sexy” “You are the epitome of beauty” and some comments made in other languages. Some had followed me to Instagram which freaked me out a little especially when several liked every single photo on my profile. I will probably have to make my Instagram private again. Some had DMed on Instagra. One guy wanted to know if pick up lines worked on me. Well they might…..if it wasn’t from some stranger on the Internet or I wasn’t, you know, taken. 

Three men who asked if I would be their sugar baby. They all emphasized how “adorable” I was and how they would spoil me. The idea of a sugar daddy has never appealed to me. I think all girls have mused on what it would be like to be with someone who buys them everything and I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t want to have sex with someone I don’t like for $2,000 designer handbags I don’t need. A woman who is in dire poverty might think differently but I have everything provided for me. I am worth more than any material gift. Unless I am on the verge of starving to death, I will never accept cash/ presents for sex (and even then it would be a last resort). 

I talked to my (very wise) boyfriend about how I felt guilty for garnering this much male attention. He said something very smart. He said “Don’t feel guilty for being a woman on the internet” Nothing I am doing is untoward. I came to Threads to meet female friends and share my poetry and art. I will not be chased off so easily due to sugar daddies and lurkers.