Ten Years Later Review

I am always a fan of books that tell stories of real live people beating the odds, overcoming obstacles and skewering adversity. A while ago I read an excellent book called Good Morning Monster which spotlights five different individuals that had experienced severe child abuse- physical, sexual and emotional. Yet with therapy these people were able to recover or at least learn to live with the scars their caregivers had inflicted upon them.  Today I started another book I’m really enjoying. It’s called Ten Years Later: Six People Who Faced Adversity and Transformed Their Lives. So far I’m really touched and impressed by their stories. Which is why today I’m going to share them with you.

Amy Barnes: Amy escaped an abusive relationship and lost over 300 pounds. Neither is easy to do, especially not at the same time. Amy’s husband started off sweet, charismatic and romantic. He encouraged her to eat and slowly Amy packed the pounds on, food being her comfort, her addiction. He began to control her, demanding to know who she was talking to on the phone, checking the messages to see if any other guys or even her mother had called her. The control issue is a big red flag in domestic violence. When I was with one of my exes, that was the wake up call for me. It wasn’t the fact that he violated me while I was knocked out by my pills. It wasn’t the fact that he wanted me to move in with him even though neither of us had college degrees or jobs (not to mention I said I wasn’t ready). It was when he texted me “I don’t want you going to any more bars or parties without me” That was when alarm bells started ringing. 

Thank God, it did not escalate to Amy’s situation who was brutally beaten and attacked in every way possible. I’m surprised she didn’t die. I think it must have been a mix of resilience and a miracle that saved her when her husband stabbed her in the stomach. She could have gone straight to the hospital. Instead, she risked her health going to the courthouse trying to get her kids back after Robert had beaten them for the first (and only) time. Amy’s whole world was her children so instead of feeling sorry for herself she got a job and worked at getting them back. Then she embraced a fitness routine, joined a gym and began to shed the pounds. It’s something I have really have had a hard time with. I know my medication gives me a voracious appetite and that my health makes it hard for me to do much physical activity. I turned to food way too much. Its my crutch and I need (from now on) to walk with both legs. 

Lindsay Beck: Lindsay Beck was your average young adult until she discovered a canker sore on her tongue. Well, it wasn’t a canker sore. It was cancer. And it didn’t look good. She needed chemo and surgery. There were concerns about it of course. Would she be able to taste again after treatment? Would she even be able to talk (turns out she could!). But one of Lindsay's biggest worries was her fertility. Chemotherapy usually renders its patients sterile. When Lindsay found this out, she had her eggs frozen through diligent (and quick) research of her own. Still, she was uneasy that so many cancer patients were unaware that their treatment (designed to save their lives) could also lead to sterilization. So Lindsay decided to do something about it. She started a nonprofit called Fertile Hope that spread awareness about the risk of infertility at the hands of cancer treatment. She went from a small organization to sharing her mission statement with hospitals and cancer clinics across the country, educating patients and doctors alike. She found someone who saw past her as the “cancer girl”. They were married and began to try for children. They were successful despite (somewhat ironically) some fertility problems with her husband. They now have three children and she lives cancer-free.

Patrick Weiland: Originally started as a very successful journalist who was hired by Dateline NBC. Patrick was openly gay and not long after he arrived in California he was diagnosed with HIV. He broke up with his longterm partner and almost immediately began using crystal meth. So began the love affair. He became a functioning drug addict, using on Fridays and throught the weekend. He visited his family back East but never used while he was there. His parents still lived there as did his little sister Sue who struggled with alcohol abuse. Patrick tried multiple times getting clean, going to rehabs and outpatient programs but he just got worse. Soon he was injecting it, instead of just smoking it. And then everything changed. His little sister was murdered by her (also) alcoholic boyfriend. She had tried to leave him and he stabbed her nineteen times in the stomach, then claimed it was self-defense. Patrick and his whole family was determined to get justice and the boyfriend was convicted of second degree murder. Patrick (who had stopped taking his HIV meds until now out of sheer despair) had a 50-50 chance of getting better. He got clean and slowly began to feel better. Now you might catch him on the show Bizarre Foods With Andrew Zimmerman. He’ll do crystal meth but he won’t eat a taruntula. 

Diane Van Deren: Diane grew up suffering from epelispy, a serious medical condition that causes her suffer from seizures. Finally, doctors removed a part of her brain that was causing the seizures. This left Diane free to pursue her passion. And her passion was running. But not just a marathon here or there. Diane became an ultrarunner, pushing herself to run over 100 miles at a time. She even ran places like The Artic, at one point falling through the ice, something that put her at serious risk for hypothermia and frostbite, which she thankfully avoided. No matter what the obstacle or injury, she would always press on, all the while maintaining a loving marriage and raising children. Diane still faced challenges from her illness such as having trouble with directions and forgetting simple things, like what to pack for a run (this caused her to rely on multiple alarms and Post-It notes). Diane gave back, talking to children who also had epilepsy and inspiring them to achieve their dreams. Her 1,000 mile race was her last big phsyical accomplishment. But there is still plenty she plans on doing to help and inspire others. 

I was wowed when I read about all of Diane’s achievements, like using a stove in the arctic to unfreeze her water bottles so she had something to drink. Not only did she compete in races, she had to drag sleds weighted down with supplies like she was a bobsled dog. Scientists were astounded at how much she could push herself, even spectualating that part of her brain that registers pain may have been removed in the surgery. Diane herself insists it’s all mental, that you’re ability to cross that finish line lies in your head and your beliefs on whether you can or cannot do it. This story really touched me because although I have never suffered a seizure I have several physical limitations. I used to go to the gym but now I only do two laps around a small pond every morning. Diane’s story inspired me to try pushing myself harder (three laps, four laps) until I feel in good condition to go back to the gym.

Ron Clifford: This is one story of courage and bravery that made a lump rise to my throat. In September 2011 Ron arrived at a hotel nestled between the two Twin Towers for a meeting just as the first plane hit the first tower. One woman, Jennieann Maffeo, came running into the lobby. She had been burned via aviation fuel over 90 percent of her body. Her clothes were actually burned into her body. Ron immediately got a coat for the naked woman and began to usher her to safety as a second plane hit the second building. Right now Ron’s concern was for Jenniann. He had no way of knowing that the second plane contained his sister, Ruth, and his four year old niece. Ron and Ruth were extremely close. The loss was devastating. Ron began to exhibit signs of post traumatic stress disorder, seeing burning people jumping to their death from towers whenever he closed his eyes. Even more tragically Jennieann eventually passed away from her injuries. Finally, Ron went to see a doctor who speacilzied in post traumatic stress disorder. The doctor patiently went over with Ron every minute of that terrible morning. Eventually Ron was able to better come to terms with his loss and the loss of our nation. He testified at several terrorist’s trials in an effort to bring them to justice which he feels they definitely deserve. Ron’s story is inspiring because he got through one of the most horrific events in our nation’s history and he’s still able to smile today.

To those of who have been through a massive terrorist attack (like Ron), or a natural disaster or rape (like me) trauma therapy is like a gift from God. It took me about six months for my very capable therapist to guide me through a painful past so I could live a bright future. I only hope I am as courageous as Ron.

Roxanne Quimby Roxanne lived in humble beginnings. She and her husband George moved out to rural Maine in a cabin without electricity or running water. It doesn’t sound like it was an easy life but they found it rewarding. Then Roxanne gave birth to twins and suddenly she was washing diapers in boiled water and raising her children to love the outdoors. But the strain on her marriage was too much. Her and George divorced leaving Roxanne struggling to support her family. She hitchiked a ride with a local beekeeper and that was when Roxanne entered the beekeeping business selling honey alongside her newfound friend/ beekeeper (Burt). She turned the beeswax into candles. She made lip balm out of all natural ingredients. Meanwhile, the business expanded. At first, Roxanne and Burt sold locally, then to bigger craft fairs and finally in cities like Boston. The business escalated into a million dollar company. Maybe you’ve heard of it? Ever felt like your lips were chapped and reached in your pocket for a Burt’s Bee’s? 

I loved this book. These six people from all walks of life and all situations. Their paths are different but they all exhibit strong values such as hard work, love and pride in one’s accomplishments. I’m really glad I read this book. Maybe you should read it too.