Thanksgiving 2016

Here is the excerpt from my book on Thanksgiving day, seven years ago. They ran out of gravy (people were using ketchup) and the stuffing tasted like sadness. It was the first of six hospitalizations for me.

Day Two: Thanksgiving

The next morning I ate breakfast with Maggie and her roommate Diane, who entertained me with stories about her work at the animal shelter.

“I’ve been trying not to cry,” I confessed to them after breakfast “because I want to show the staff I’m getting better.”

“Crying is okay,” Maggie reassured me “They won’t keep you here longer if you cry occasionally. It’s only if you make a disturbance. Then, they will put you “on-status” and you will be here even longer.”

In the living room, the patients gathered to watch the Thanksgiving parade. “Later we can watch all the Black Friday craziness and be glad we aren’t out there,” Maggie said, settling down on the chair next to me.

Mom, Dad and Michael (my brother) all came to visit me on Thanksgiving. We played cards and Cranium and Password which was all fun but you know what would have been even more fun? Not being in the institution at all.

“Debbie texted us yesterday,” my mom told in the middle of a game of Rummy 500 “She said to tell you that she is praying for you.”

“Can you give her the number of this place?” I would love to talk to Debbie, to Bryan, to all of them. Derrick would also be home for Thanksgiving break and the thought of hearing his voice was enough to make a smile come to my face.

Even though it was Thanksgiving, I met with my treatment team anyway. I had a hope Dr. Ross would look at me and say “You don’t need to be here” and I could go. That didn’t happen but they did set a discharge date for Monday. Monday! That was doable.

“We are also going to start you on Lamictal. It’s a mood stabilizer. We have to increase it in very low doses so it’ll be a while before you see results” A third medication. I once had dreams of living a med free life. Clearly that was not in the cards right now.