The Skinny on Hotels
- 6 minutes ago
- 4 min read
What do you think of when you think of hotels? Bed bugs? Probably. Suicide? Possibly. Meth labs? Unlikely. Right? Well, you’d be surprised at what might be cooking three doors down from you. Using a “shake and bake method””, criminals can erect a meth lab using a two liter plastic soda bottle, rubber tubing and household chemicals which are all easy to obtain. Within less than four hours (according to AI) a meth lab can be created within a hotel. Hotels offer some benefits by housing these meth labs such as being close to highways and privacy. Rooms often come with microwaves or other appliances that the criminals can use to cook the drugs.
“Be aware of guests that: pay with cash, are local residents, have no photo ID and appear to be using drugs” (https://www.in.gov/health/eph/files/hotel_motel-brochure.pdf). For those who don’t know, meth labs are very dangerous. They are combustible and can cause fire. Not something you want just down the hall from where you are sleeping. Meth labs can be small enough to be stored in a tote bag and smuggled into a hotel. Meth users frequently learn how to cook meth from other addicts or from recipes on the internet (everything's on the internet). It can also damage hotel property which hotels will then be responsible for (damage can usually be between $2000 and $25,000).
““Unfortunately it’s not that difficult at all,” said Patrick Trainor, a special agent with the federal Drug Enforcement Administration. “We have seen over the past few years a real prevalence of what are referred to as one -ot meth labs, which are also referred to as shake-and-bake labs.” “Meth cooking involves chemicals such as solvents, ether, acids or ammonia. The process, even when no fire occurs, turns a room into a hazardous waste site where even the drywall has to be stripped away” (https://whyy.org/articles/impromptu-meth-labs-in-hotels-becoming-common-and-risky/) . For the next guest, exposure to chemicals can make them sick- dizziness, nauseous, lung damage and burns which is why it is so important to strip these rooms even if it is costly (which Trainor says is why the meth makers don’t use their own home. It would be unlivable).
While you might not be exposed to a meth lab during your hotel stay, there might be whispers of a ghost haunting your room. This could be the spirit of a poor soul who tragically decided to end their life in your hotel room. Of course it was theirs first. “Research and case studies show that suicides in hotel rooms are more common than many realize” (AI). Some people use hotel rooms as the location for their suicide because they know they will not be discovered until it is too late- no family member to intervene or bring them help in time. In 2011, 60% of nonresident suicides occured in hotels, though exact numbers are “hard to pin down” (AI). Yet “major hotels in Las Vegas report at least one death per week” (https://gary-phipps.com/2025/02/20/a-night-among-the-dead-the-hidden-truth-about-hotel-deaths)
The MGM has averaged two or three deaths per month while in New York between 2018 and 2021 more than 100 people have died in hotels each year. They were found when they didn’t checkout which must have been traumatizing for housekeeping. They also sometimes aren’t discovered for days or even weeks (although I find that a little hard to believe) when the smell becomes the telltale sign. Gary-pipps.com does the math. “There’s a high probability,at least 75%,that you will be in a hotel where a death has occurred within that year” And as the article points out they don’t usually make the news because why would a hotel want to publicize that? The hotel room is back to being available, sometimes within a twenty four hour period. These are businesses after all.
But your biggest worry is probably what you should be most concerned about: bedbugs. Bedbugs have been in my top thirty worries since I watched an episode of Infested. Bedbugs spread like crazy so if you stay in a hotel with bedbugs you will be taking the bedbugs, their larvae and their eggs home with you. If you make a report that your room has bedbugs, the hotel will take it out of circulation. No one fucks around with bedbugs. Dead bodies? Eh. But bedbugs are the real reason to panic. If you bring bedbugs back to your own house, you will have to do serious damage control. Extermination costs between $1000 and $6000 and sometimes requires fumigation. Some bedbug signs you should look for on arrival at your hotel room: bedbug’s exoskeletons or excrement which would be blood spots on the sheets, bedbugs themselves as well as a musty odor. Check the beds. Whatever you do check the beds.
There. Now I’ve insured you will never stay in a hotel ever again. Just remember hotels can be a nightmare (mostly for the staff, let’s be realistic) but they can also provide some of the tools that make a lovely vacation: indoor heated pools, continental breakfasts with every kind of syrup imaginable and a waffle maker, and TV that lets you watch the Knicks playoff with your hair wet from the shower as you’re dozing off without a single bedbug in sight.
How May We Hate You? (book)
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