Things I Want to Do At Thirty

Thirty is a big year. I want to do big things. I want big things to happen to me. And medium things. And little things. Sometimes It is all about the little things.

• Go camping. None of my friends really want to go camping (for most of them its the bathroom/ shower issue). I’ve been camping once with my youth group at KOA (campgrounds of America) which not only offered toilets and showers but plots of land where we’d pitched our tents and built a fire.  It was such a great time. KOA even had an arcade and a pool and we hiked along the Delaware River. We got drunk at night and during the day we all ate crickets (they sold them at the store). They were cheddar flavored.

• Get a new cat. I’m still grieving Scout and Susie. The house just feels lonelier without them. I miss  lying my head on their little bodies and hearing them purr. I miss seeing them snuggled up in the fluffy blankets. I miss Susie with her boxes and Scout chasing butterflies. God, I miss them. Okay new topic because I’m tearing up.

• Two of the people I care about the most work for the military and the national guard. I appreciate the work they do for this country however I feel bad they must be so far away.. My cousin (who is practically like a sister to me) is stationed in Savannah. I don’t often see her when once upon a time we practically lived under the same roof. Justin said maybe we could visit her this year. But we’d have to fly. My best friend (well one of them) is in the National Guard and she’s been stationed in Texas for the next year. Again there is talk about visiting her among my friends but it will be tricky. I’ve never gone on a trip that far without my parents.

• Become better at thrifting. My friend Wendy introduced me to thrifting and I’ve gotten some beautiful items there- a violet button down shirt, a purple dress I wore to Justin’s holiday party, a gorgeous red dress which (as of now) is a wee bit small and a black wool dress which laces upon the arms for a touch  of sexiness. I’m excited to go thrifting again so I can  see if they have magazines.

• Go to Salem. If I could visit anywhere it would be Salem. I’ve wanted to go there since I was in girl scouts. Back then it was because of the whole witch thing. Now, it also is like that but also because its such a historical landmark. And well, yeah the witch thing.

• Knit a shirt I can wear. I’m still very much in the initial phase of my pff the shoulder shirt I am working on.

• Be able to stick up for myself. I let people walk all over me. Or I let people push me push me push me until I snap and usually when I snap it gets directed at the wrong person. Like my parents or Justin and that isn’t fair to anyone. This year I pledge to not let people talk to me like I am less than or like I am stupid or like I I have messed up. Because everyone messes up. And you don’t have to be nasty to me because of that.

• Win a poetry slam. I’ve won four poetry slams but not for a very long time. I don’t think I got worse. I think we just attracted better poets while our old talented poets got even better. Poetry is not really my thing. I’m much better with prose. I’m good with essays, book reviews, fiction. Poetry is lower on the totem pole. But I enjoy it so I try. And i like helping out (doing door, hosting, etc).

• Make money some way. My friend said I could make an Etsy. Maybe once I get better at making cards I could make greeting cards. I guess I find it a little incomprehensible that people would actually pay me for something I've created. 

• Get up earlier. I take Seroquel at  night and waking up is a challenge  because usually the drug is still in my system. I usually make my bed and go back to sleep. Parents yell. Get dressed and go back to sleep. Parents yell. Fall asleep on the bathroom floor while brushing my teeth. Parents yell. I also can’t have coffee right away because I need to take my thyroid medication a half an hour before I can have anything else. So I spend the first half hour nodding off. Maybe I’ll take my Seroquel earlier. Oh God getting up is an ordeal.

• I went to the spa last year with my friends, Katie and Wendy and tomorrow I’m going to the spa again tomorrow actually. I love spa days. The baths, the massages, the pampering, all of it.  My Grandma used to tell me she’d take me to the spa. She probably would have paid for every treatment and massage for me. Unfortunately, she passed away before she could.

• I want to go back to the Renaissance Fair or the Lunar Faire. The Lunar Faire is a pop p faire that has alot of cool things like fire dancers, costume contests and all sorts of vendors selling “witchy” and crafty stuff. I once got a journal made out of envelopes. It was beautiful..

• It’s too late to do this this year but I want to go back to Sleepy Hollow, a haunted house my parents treated me to when I was sixteen. It was so much fun. I’d love to go back.  Or get a group together to go to Fright Fest. Might be cheaper.  Because yes, in some way or another a bunch of this…..does cost money.