Venturing Outside My Comfort Zone

In my lifetime, I’ve done a bunch of things I was terrified to do. Compete in a poetry slam. Host a poetry slam. Perform in a musical when none of my castmates wanted me on that stage or had any faith in me. I competed (and won) a foul shooting contest when I was eleven. But there’s alot I haven’t done yet, a lot of things I want to try. Here are some of them:

• Get a tattoo. I’ve wanted a tattoo for at least five years now. I would get it on my inner right wrist to conceal the very faint scars that are there. I would get a semi colon which means a time you could have ended your life but instead you chose to continue it. I’m someone who has struggled with suicidal ideation, urges, and several attempts. It’s been years but I would love a physical reminder to keep on going on the days I feel my darkest even though I hope I won’t need it. I’m not scared of the needle or the pain but my mom is adamant I will not get a tattoo. I’m thirty years old but I live in her house so while I’m under  her roof I will respect her rules.

• I want to swim with either dolphins or manatees. Apparently manatees are “slow, gentle herbivores” earning them the nickname “sea cows” I know you aren’t actually supposed to touch the manatees just swim or snorkel alongside them. In contrast to the manatees, dolphins are “fast and highly intelligent” Swimming with dolphins in the wild is actually illegal so you will have to go through structured programs with a supervisor. You can even get photos of you and the dolphins. Btw I got all this information from our trusty friend AI

• I learned about a sensory deprivation tank from a book I read called Fine. Whatever about a very shy, overweight girl trying things out of her comfort zone. I believe the first thing she did was try a sensory deprivation tank which is not recommended for someone with anxiety yet I really want to try one. Still got to clear it with my psychiatrist though.

• Swim with sharks. I get a lot of incredulous stares with this one. I only want to cagedive, and not with great white sharks or bull sharks (two of the more aggressive sharks). Give me a gentle shark that bumps the cage gently and scares the shit out of me any day. Shark cage diving is supposed to be very safe. At least no one has died from it yet. Apparently there is also this really cool water slide in the Atlantis Bahamas where you will be in a tunnel slide that is surrounded by marine life….including sharks. It is brief and perfectly safe but long enough to spark terror into you.

• I would like to tutor high schoolers (preferably for money) on how to write term papers or college essays. I’ve never had experience teaching anyone how to write essays but I’m good at it. myself And practice makes perfect so I can only get better.

• Rappel down a waterfall. I would have to be in way better condition physically to possibly do this. Otherwise I might fall down the rocks and die.

• Again not much experience with white water rafting. I did tubing once and I absolutely loved drifting along the river. It was the highlight of the vacation. Being tossed and a turned a little doesn’t sound so bad.

• Go bungee jumping. We are hitting the big leagues now.

• See a sex therapist. I’m not going to go into detail about why because that is between me and the sex therapist I haven’t started seeing yet.

• Cave exploring. I read Underland which put me off cave explorations for a while. I mean I’d rather not get stuck in a half collapsed tunnel. But as long as the cavern is large enough I think it could be a fun experience. Have you ever seen The Descent by the way?