Why I Waited

I always knew sex was a big deal, even if there were periods when maybe it did not look that way. But my virginity was very important to me. Maybe it was because my first kiss was with the man who sexually assaulted me. I never got that fairy tale first kiss. Or goofy. Or awkward. Or any kind of normal. My first kiss was guarded by shame and guilt. I didn’t want sex to be like that. I wanted sex to be fun, yes, but I always wanted love. Even if we didn’t get married, I wanted someone who was devoted to me and to help me through it in case it hurt.

I’m not gonna sell out the guy who took my virginity ( he was a great guy) but I will say it was exactly how I wanted it. With love, time, and commitment (and yeah it did hurt a bit). So for virgins out there I just want to encourage them to wait until they are ready and usually that means eighteen. You may think they are ready but your virginity is something you never get back. Is that something you want to squander on a cheap motel room with someone who never says your name because he never learned it?

What about the peanut gallery that chirps “It’s just fun” Well, the first time is rarely fun for a girl. Im not trying to scare you or anything but intercourse can continue to be uncomfortable for the first few times. Sometimes it still hurts for me. So no, it’s not fun. Some girls get pressured into it by their partners. Gee, what a healthy relationship (and I’ve been there too btw). Sex in  your twenties  is very different than sex in  your teens. And your first time? That’s a whole separate ball game.