Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow Part One

          Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow: A Daily Guide to Reflect, Grow and Dream

We’ve all heard the saying at one point in our lives “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover” Which is a good reminder of acceptance and the benefit of not making assumptions.

Yesterday: What assumptions in the past have you made about someone that turned out to be completely wrong? How did you feel prematurely judging them?

When —---- first moved to school in sixth grade I sat next to him in English and I remember being very annoyed by him and thinking he was an absolute idiot. Even though I was right that he did smoke pot (he actually was the first person to get me high), he’s a good person with a big heart and not as dumb as he seems.

Today: What do people assume about you that turns out to be incorrect? Why do you think they have these preconceived notions about you??

When I was in eighth grade, I dressed very provocatively and many people assumed i was very promiscuous (which I would become after being sexually assaulted and a bipolar episode) when I was very chaste and hadn’t even had my first kiss. When I turned eighteen I was still a virgin.

Tomorrow: Looking forward what do you hope people overlook (don’t judge) about you, what do you want them to see instead?

I want people to know that leather jacket aside I’m a very friendly approachable person and I always am a looking for new friends. That’s why I usually smile at people and if they are new to  Rockland Poets I’ll make them feel welcome. I want them to know I am sarcastic but not at other’s expense, I  like joking around and that they can come to me if they need it.

Moliere once said “The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it! Each challenge we face is an opportunity to build resilience and discover our true potential”

Yesterday: Recall a moment when you faced a daunting challenge. How did you feel and what hidden strengths did you uncover in the process of overcoming it?

I got a 4.0 in the first semester of my sophomore year after spending a week in the hospital. I was behind on school work but I put hours into final projects and final exams. My teacher even told the class I was hospitalized (but not what for) but I got an A on my lesson plan anyway and that I’d make a great teacher.

Today: Consider a current challenge. How is it shaping your daily thoughts and actions and what does this reveal about your personal growth?

I’m taking every failure to heart and expecting way too much of myself. I ran out of a brewery when I felt my singing wasn’t up to par (then I had to go back in. That was more difficult than leaving). I cred when I wasn’t selected to be on the Poetry Slam Team. I stood outside until my fingers lost all fingers.

Tomorrow: Envision a future challenge. How might you approach it with the wisdom you’ve accumulated and what new strengths or insights do you hope ot gain?

Moving in with Justin will be a challenge. I will need to figure out how to get around, clean, cook, and manage my insurance plan/ medication. Maybe even work (two incomes would definitely make things easier). It’s like a whole different world than the one that exists now and sometimes I’m scared I can’t do it. But I’ve been brave before. I’m not a stranger with working to success.

Pulizater Prize poet Mary Oliver understood the value of life when she wrote “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life”

Yesterday: Looking back what do you remember the earliest plans you made for your life? What  ere you very first hopes, dreams and aspirations?

The life I had planned is “so different from this life I’m living” I had plans on being a teacher but that didn’t feel right to me so I start to take classes in counseling. I would marry my boyfriend and we’d have several kids. I’d stay home with the kids while writing books then once they were in school I’d  go back to work as a social worker.

Today: Thinking about the present how have you plans changed from your younger years until now? What was the turning point that moved you in a different direction?

My suicide was the catalyst that changed every little thing in my life. Immediately I knew I would never finish school at Scranton and i had to stop resisting. Eventually it became apparent I wouldn’t finish college at all. I have found my future husband but I am not mentally stable enough for kids.

Tomorrow: Fast forward to your future and you’ve lived much of your life, when you look back what do you hope your life will look like? What do you think will have made your life fulfilled?

Justin and I will have been married for most of my life. I will still be writing books, hopefully contributing to our income, still in my book club, still close to my friends and family. I hope I get at least one book on the NYT bestselling list, another as a major motion picture, another in Oprah’s Book Club and another wins a Pulitzer Prize.