Body Positivity

We live in an age of body positivity. And that’s a good thing. But (hot take) lets not be so focused on being too skinny or too heavy to recognize that someone is actually at an unhealthy weight or has an unhealthy mindset about weight. About two weeks ago I posted about Ariana Grande and her request against body shaming. Which is perfectly reasonable. I wouldn’t want millions of people commenting on the nuances of my body. But it is almost impossible to ignore that Ariana Grande is painfully thin, especially compared to the way she used to look (which she calls “unhealthy” but looks fine to me). Are we to be so body-blind that we are supposed to ignore someone who actually looks seriously ill? What if that was someone we knew and cared about (sorry Ariana. Not implying we don’t care about you)? Wouldn’t we want them to be healthy even if it was none of our business? Is it none of our business?

Right now I’m overweight but when I was fourteen I was ninety pounds. I know this because I weighed myself every day obsessively. I wrote at length in my journal my phobia of being fat. I purged on several occasions when I felt I had eaten more than my share. I was a size zero at one point and on Christmas every piece of clothing my mom got me was too big. She told me if I got any thinner she’d take me to the doctor. Here are some health consequences of being “too” thin:

• Fatigue. I tired very easily. I looked like I was in great shape but I didn’t have the energy to do much except write and play basketball in short bursts.

• Brittle bones. Luckily my disordered eating didn’t last long enough to affect my bones (I think)

• It can stop your periods if you are female. My periods were never eliminated but I only got them once every three or four months.

• Irregular heart rhythms

• Hair thinning/ loss

• Dizziness. I have always been prone to dizziness and fainting. I think sometimes its dehydration. Sometimes its medication. But at this point in my life it was probably simply because I wasn’t getting enough to eat

• Irritability. I was a bit of a bitch. Repressing your hunger will do that. 

We use “body positivity” to make people feel better about their bodies especially if these people are on the heavier side (or think they are on the heavier side). We want everyone to feel good about themselves. You can still be heavy and still be beautiful. I’ve met many heavy girls who I honestly found gorgeous. But (and here’s the real hot take): being heavy isn’t good for you.

It’s not an image thing. It’s from the health perspective. Take a night out as a heavy girl for example. Yesterday I went to a concert in the city. I didn’t realize till we got there we’d be standing the whole time. We got there at 6:30 and left at 10:00. We didn’t even stay the whole time. My feet and knees were killing me, my back ached and I was sweating extensively just from swaying in time to the music. These reasons were not the sole factor we left but I must admit they were contributing factors. Here are some health consequences of being too heavy:

• Diabetes. I dated someone with diabetes for two years so I have a rough understanding how hard it can be. Currently I am marked as prediabetic. I am not enthused about this diagnosis.

• Can put strain on joints. I have a serious problem with my knees, so serious I was seen by a physical therapist who gave me several exercises to help my knees which have been weakened because I have to support my overweight body all day. Almost every night I need to a) take Tylenol b) wrap both knees in heating pads. At one point I was in so much pain I had trouble even doing stairs.

• Heart disease

• Sleep apnea. Ever since I got heavier my snoring has gotten worse. My mom actually refused to sleep in the same bed as me when my bed broke. She made me sleep downstairs on the sofa bed.

• Weaker immune system

• Increased eating disorders. We all know I’m coping with binge eating. I made it through Thanksgiving (In case you hadn’t noticed). Then again I’ve also taken to raiding the refrigerator at 5 am. I wish I could just padlock the kitchen.

Whatever the state of your body, know you are beautiful. And if you are convinced you aren’t remember all the other things that are more important than beauty (which will fade anyway) in the long run. Things like honing your talents or things like being  kind and generous to the people around you. Things like your relationship with others, with God and with yourself. Take care of your body, not just to be beautiful but also because you only get one and you need to take care of it.