July Resolutions

Try three new fiction authors	Go on my first ever bachelorette trip	Don’t take other people’s bad attitudes personally	Go to Beacon	Go to Salem for two days
Get over my ear problem (ear infection/ inflamed eardrum)	Watch my favorite crime author’s library talk	Acquire some clothing (dresses for special occasions and professional clothes for work)	Help out Justin’s podcast	Everytime you call yourself fat or stupid (even in your head) you pause and give yourself a pep talk
Go to a hookah lounge (it’s been too long!)	Attend a tea party	Free Space	Work on my knitting present. I have a deadline.	MInimize snacking (be aware of what you eat)
Start a star sign book	Do an acrostic poem activity at the senior center	Sushi > Chinese (healthwise)	Watch bad sci-fi movies during Shark Week (at the end of July)	Make three junk journal spreads inspired by Pinterest
Perform at the slam and the open mic (remember to give content warnings!)	Conquer my fear of bingo	Start comfort books for Christmas	Find something to do with all the binders under my dresser	Work on not comparing yourself to other people

I am escorted into July by a great boyfriend, an awesome patch of friends and a dangerous heatwave. Thank God there is air conditioning at my job. When I used to work as a camp counselor we were outside the majority of the day and I passed out on at least one occasion. It was just so easy to focus on taking care of the kids that I forgot about myself. Anyway, here is how July is looking.

To clarify some goals:-          I need to discover some gems. I’ve been reading alot of nonfiction lately. I would like to read some established authors that have penned at least five books. I started a Robin Cook recently but I’m not sure how I feel about it so far. Lots of information dumping.

• I have been dealing with this ear infection for almost two weeks. Yesterday we went to the ENT (ear, nose, throat) and he examined me. He said I have an inflamed eardrum and that there was fluid trapped behind the middle ear which was why it was so painful. If it doesn’t clear up I’ll have to go on steroids which I’m not eager about since it interferes with my meds. But I am  in a serious amount of pain here.

• I used to smoke hookah pretty frequently. I think I started doing it at college and I used to do it alot after that with my ex. Justin’s not crazy about it but we’d be doing it to celebrate my sobriety so he’d go along with it.

• I have alot of “snips” (Leigh definition: snips are pictures I get off the internet and print out for collages and journaling) about star signs that I’ve gotten off Instagram. I can organize them and arrange them to make a book about star signs. I love making books.

• I have written two poems specifically for this slam. I’m nervous as hell for it since I haven’t slammed in a while and one of the poems is really raw and personal. That’s one of my strategies: I’m not afraid to get vulnerable. I was going through my old poems and I found so many I could bring out at the open mic. I wouldn’t slam with them but I am eager to share them. 

• One of my best friends is having a bachelorette weekend at Cape Cod. Because I’ve never been invited to a bachelorette party let alone weekend this is thrilling. It’s not going to be a wild weekend but I don’t drink plus I’m in a committed relationship so I didn’t need any of  that anyway. Just friends in a beautiful place. I can’t wait.

• My favorite crime author is Karin Slaughter, author of the Will Trent series which is now a TV show. She’s doing an author talk at our local library. My friend and I were disappointed it wasn’t in person so we are going to do a watch party at her apartment with dinner and everything. I love that my friends love the same things I do.

• I was invited to a tea party by another friend. I’m so excited that I’m making mini collages for all the girls invited and decorate them with doilies. I hope there is pastries and mini sandwiches! I also definitely need to find something to wear.

• My boss put “acrostic poetry” down on the schedule so that falls under my jurisdiction (I’m the “writer” and proudly so. Other activities workers do things like “bedazzling” or “painting nails” which is off the table for me and my tremors).

• I love my job but I will admit here (in the privacy of the internet) I have a fear of Bingo. The residents love Bingo and they take it very seriously. Bingo lasts for an hour and fifteen minutes. Is it possible to make it through that time without a single mistake? Sometimes I read the wrong number off the ball and I’m not even sure how that happens. It will say “38” and I read “56”. And I’m not dyslexic or anything. I think my eyes just get tired. Still…..embarrassing.

• This applies not just at work but also with friends of friends or activities I participate in. Believe or not, not everyone likes me. And sometimes even people who do like me are rude to me. It doesn’t say anything about me. Sometimes people are just having a bad day or stressed about their own lives and don’t have time to handle me with kid gloves. Shrug it off and move on.

• I need to get more clothes. I want some dresses (especially for that tea party I mentioned earlier plus the big wedding I have coming up for September. There are a few days of festivities). I also need more professional clothes for work. Blazers, looser shirt, dress pants. 

• When we play our biweekly Dungeons and Dragons game, my friend will often order Chinese food for us.  But I’m still on this diet (it’s not so much a diet as just healthy eating) and sushi doesn’t have as many calories so I just have my favorite sushi from my favorite restaurant instead (its called Sunset Boulevard. The sushi not the restaurant).

• I’ve decided what I am making for my aunts, cousins and friends for Christmas. Small blank books decorated with stickers and images from Instagram. I call them comfort books and I’m currently working on my own. I also want to work on collages for my book club, the tea party group, and my D and D friends. Call it mid summer generosity.

• Beacon is a lovely town somewhere close to where my boyfriend lives. It has a store that has some interesting journals, another store with an abundance of pens (including disposable fountain pens. They are prone to leaking but I love writing with them anyway) and a knitting store. Oh yeah and a cool food hall that offers food from all over the world (different booths display different cultures). 

• My boyfriend and his best friend are hosts on their podcast (Look On the Bright Side) which examines “bad” movies and looks for the good. For the first few episodes I did alot of the research, reading movie reviews and critiques looking at both the bad and the good. If they continue the project, I’d like to continue to help.

• My present is a secret. But its turning out so well. Today I had knitting at the library. My instructor not only said it had “minimal holes” (I’ve gotten better at not dropping stitches) but that it was looking “perfect”. 

• Bad sci-fi channel movies are the best. Shark week gives me an excuse to watch them. I don’t even care if they aren’t about sharks. Crocodiles, whales, piranhas- I’m open minded. As long as it’s ridiculous.

• So I was out thrifting. And I noticed a bunch of binders for a  very low price. So I bought ten giant binders. I had a plan for making something for my book club but as our anniversary looms closer I’m not exactly sure what I want to do so I think I’m just going to do it for Christmas. In the meantime the binders stay under my dresser in a really big pile.

• This might not happen because I accidentally scheduled a book club meeting but we (my parents and I) might go to Salem and I am so so so excited because I’ve wanted to go there since I was a little kid and my friend’s girl scout troop wouldn’t let me join them because one girl’s mom complained (that girl and that mom were bitches. Who tells a five year old she can’t go on a trip?)

• I didn’t think I’d be able to do this but I actually did it yesterday. I was going to call myself stupid (I forget why) and I reminded myself it was a mistake that anyone could make and hyped myself up a little. 

• In most of the books I’ve been reading they talk about mindful eating. Not snacking mindlessly. Unfortunately yesterday was book club so I’m not sure how I did on that. There were Doritos! I don’t know if the scale forgives Doritos.

• I have so many spreads saved on Pinterest that I want to replicate (with my own touches of course).

• This is probably the hardest thing on this list. I’ve always been one to compare myself with my friends or rivals. I can compare myself to my waitress or my cousin. No one is safe. It’s not just looks (although that is definitely part of it). Accomplishments, relationships, status, possessions (this is making it sound more material than it is). But when asked if I could switch lives with anyone I never would give up any of what is mine or trade. At the end of the day I’m happy with who I am. 

One more thing: the chickens are my neighbor’s. They wandered into our yard this morning. I just wanted to share the picture.