Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow Part 3

“Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue, and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true” those are just part of the lyrics from the signature son Somewhere Over the Rainbow, from the Wizard of Oz soundtrack. For generations it has inspired people to dare to dream.

Yesterday: Looking ahead to what’s to come, do you think you will ever stop dreaming once you achieve your current goals or will you continue to dream until the end of your days? What was the feeling when you experienced it?

 I think I will always be a dreamer. I want to publish every book I can (My goal is thirty as long as they are quality books). I want to publish the Story of Hope but there are at least five other genres of books  I’d like to publish like fantasy and anthologies as well. 

Today: What are your current hopes and dreams and what steps are you doing to make them come true?

Right now I’m working on my next book (which will be coming out  under a pseudonym) After that I have three fiction books I plan on working on- Witches Under Watch, The Mother Book Club (unofficial name) and the Boy Next Door. Then I’ll work on another anthology  under my pseudonym. 

Tomorrow: Thinking forward to what’s to come do you think you’ll ever stop dreaming if you reach your current goals or will  you dream until the end of your dags?

I will always create different dreams to work for until the day I diie. Not just writing goals but goals at getting better at crafting, knitting, trying new things and meeting new people. I always want my dreams to push me past my comfort zone. Someday I hope to keep plenty busy in a retirement home every day and I will continue to dream. 

One of Warner Bro’s most beloved cartoons is Looney Tunes largely attributed to the timeless charm of Bugs Bunny. In the famous episode ‘A Lad in His Lamp’ the plot revolves a Genie who grants wishes but proves to be a tricky manipulator. However, his schemes meet their match in the quick witted rabbit.

Yesterday: If you could make a wish to return to a specific time or event in your life which would  you choose and why do you want to revisit that moment?

So many memories from my one and a half of Scranton. Gaming club parties in slutty outfits, going to Nay Aug with Emily and Brandon, Friendsgiving, staying at the McMynes, Connor cooking me dinner, napping in Mikaela’s dorm, an allnighter at Tyler’s house. These moments were the highlights in the toughest time of my life.

Today: If you were given a wish to  be granted right now what would would you wish for?

I would wish to have perfect mental health. No more medications, no more weight gain, tremors, balance issues. I could finish college or at least get a job. I could move out and live with Justin. Oh my God I could have children and a family. I could an office with plant and sunlight. My life could be as planned.

Tomorrow: If you were granted three wishes for your future with the condition that none of them could involve material possessions what would you wish for?

I would wish I had Story of  Hope as a NYT bestseller and major motion picture (would that count as two? I’m gonna kept it to one) I wish I have more cousins/ nieces/ nephews. I wish I make some money working at the assisted living facility (damn thats material. Oh well) I think I have a very bright future even without the three wishes.

“Thats the thing about pain, it demands to be fault” is a memorable excerpt from John Green’s book, The Fault in Or Stars which gained such popularity that it was adapted into a movie starring Shailene Woodley.

Yesterday: Recall a time from your past that was so painful you didn’t know how you would get through it. 

When my best friend told me he was seeking a school issued restraining order against me using evidence my roommate provided I thought II was going to break in half. I went to the garage, shattered a flowerpot and cut myself with the shards. It did nothing. I thought cleave apart, I was so betrayed.

Today: Have you learned anything from past hurts that helps you process painful situations today- if so, what?

I am able to tolerate painful situations without hurting myself. I have learned directing outer pain at yourself only makes you feel more ashamed and it also hurts the people around you. I really learned you can’t chase after people determined to hurt you or stay mad at you or think you wronged them. They are just using you as a scapegoat.

Tomorrow: When you envision your future what painful scenarios do you hope to leave behind you and resign to the past?

I will always remember that night. Several nights later my boyfriend broke up with me. Several days earlier I had been discharged from a stay at a mental hospital. I was at my weakest, my most vulnerable. But now after his apology (which didn’t mean shit anyway) I didn’t really feel connected to that memory anymore. My therapist called him a monster. He was right.